ALPHA TO BETA: A CASE STUDY

It’s very upsetting to me when I see an alpha man get domesticated by a woman. I had to gather up a lot of strength to detail the ugly fall to beta that you are about to read. Ladies and gentleman, I present the case study of A Unique Alias.

Proof of alpha:

1. Would hate on me with impunity. Got banned several times but used proxy servers to visit. Kept coming back for more punishment.
2. Would show up in happy hours with a Hanes t-shirt purchased at Sears. Smoked cigarettes in public like it was already illegal. Did not care about his appearance.
3. Posted edgy content, such as ((insert edgy content link here!!)).

But then he met Rhinestone Cowgirl at a blogger happy hour. Gradually, he went soft like a 30 year old woman’s body. His hate just faded away, to the point where we were friendly to each other and corresponded through email. Then it just got ugly with public blog displays of affection (read the first comment) and postings polluted with love. The announcement that he was moving in with RC after four months was shocking, but nowhere near as bad as… posting of poetry. Sorry but no real alpha would be caught dead with that shit. His transformation to beta was sealed. The final step for the new beta is to quit all his hobbies and give his soul to his future American bride.

One week after Valentine’s Day, he abruptly quit his blog. :whoa:

Either the beta was always inside him and it took regular sex to get it out, or it was the evil dedication of an American woman to suck the alpha out. We’ll never know, but allow me to connect the dots for you people:

1. I co-host the blogger happy hour at Dragonfly.
2. AUA meets future girlfriend at the same happy hour.
3. Girlfriend turns AUA into a beta.

Therefore, I turned AUA into a beta male. Hate on me and one day you too may be pussy whipped into a very public relationship. Life works in ironic ways.

Oddly enough, I still have not received my “Thank you for changing our lives forever” card.

29 thoughts on “ALPHA TO BETA: A CASE STUDY

  1. tommy

    Tragic turn of events dude. My guess is, this punk was never an Alpha to begin with. But you
    have to be careful out there. Just remember, American white women are the ethinic guys Kryptonite.

  2. AUA

    It’s all true. I feel so – – so — geez, man, I don’t even know what I feel anymore.

    I’m such a sissy bitch. 🙁

  3. Ayla

    Rhinestone Cowgirl,

    DCB just celebrated his blogversary, consistently gets tons of comments on his posts, has been mentioned in Express and the Post and DCist and DC Blogs, throws successful happy hours (as you well know), gets recognized in public, led the troll army against the CPMC/Adam, collaborates with a high-profile DC blogger, brings in readership from across the country…and just generally writes some damn funny shit. So I hardly think “his traffic is down.” And even if it were, him making fun of your whipped boyfriend would hardly cause a spike in readership!

    I like how you linked to your own site while snarking on HIS site…perhaps trying to drum up YOUR traffic?

    And let me end in the words of David Spade: “And you are…? And we care because…?”`

  4. Anonymous

    Adam, crawl back under your rock with Capo. The blogosphere is much better in your absence, tool.

  5. Vicky_Valencourt

    Adam,

    How can you comment on readership with a straight face? Where is yours? Where is your blog? You have, what, four entries on that thing? No comments? No support?

    It is *sad* that DCB’s comment thread is the only platform you have. If you dislike DCB and his readers/friends so much, post about him you YOUR site. “Hating” on him on his own site only underscores his superior blogging skills. In that he has a blog. With readers.

    And you have…

  6. o-face

    I’m a educated man, but I’m unfortunately unqualified to comment on the dating habits of one, AUA. But, if he found a keeper, than i’m all for the polarity switch, because we all can’t be single and immature for ever.

  7. The Senator

    Hey Adam why dont you allow comments on your gay thing. Are you afraid of us to hammering it and making you cry!!!!!! It was fun making you look like a fool

  8. Stephen

    You can’t excuse the polarity shift. That’s the quickest way to lose a quality female, to become what DCB calls a “Beta”

  9. Brutus

    Funny that in a post about beta males you get a comment from Adam, the omega male. And from what I hear about his genitalia, I use the term “male” loosely.

  10. Vicky_Valencourt

    On some level, you have to marvel at Adam’s nerve. The fact that he keeps coming back, post after post, to get kicked around some more is simply remarkable. You would think after getting bitched so thoroughly by so many bloggers (DCB, RCR, Metroreculse, the wiki people, DC SOB, the Cleveland Park Junior League, the Cleveland Park Gay Men’s Club, to name a few) in so many ways (Match.com, the Wiki, TWO parody sites) that he would just. go. away.

    But he’s still kickin’! Still twitching. And I, for one, am rooting for the little bastard. Pick yourself off, dust yourself off, and get bitched all over again! Because I’m that petty, and it’s that funny.

    Courage is having the intelligence to know that you’re facing danger and doing the damn thing anyway. Adam seems to lack the intelligence factor, so I won’t call him corageous, but I *will* call him a hard-shelled lil’ cockroach. Just as Cher will rise from the ashes of the nuclear holocaust to belt out another leg of her farewell tour, so will Adam emerge from the rubble of the CPMC blog to get bitched again by DCB.

    :drama:

  11. Anonymous

    Jessa – as always I want it on your face dripping down!

    Rhinstone slut- piss off

    That comment about ethnic cryptonite is soooooooooooo true

  12. Jay Gatsby

    Oddly enough, I still have not received my ?Thank you for changing our lives forever? card. — DCB

    And you never will. She wanted to catch him, and he wanted to be caught.

  13. The Captain

    I think it’s kind of odd that you call out AUA for being a Beta male, yet use smiley faces with hearts around them in the comments. Seems like your balls are the ones in a purse here. At least AUA is dating his girl.

  14. Bitch

    So what happened to the rhinestone ones blog?

    I used to so enjoy reading that to make me feel better about myself (i don’t resort to discussing my sex life in public to seem interesting and edgy, etc etc) but now its some other chick.

    Shame.

  15. Pingback: Metroblogging DC

Comments are closed.