Category: DC Scene


I was leaning on the bar, in the middle of it all, when I spotted two Latin girls who weren’t part of the happy hour, getting a drink. It was a little dark but both of them seemed pretty cute; even if I got the “dud” I would still be satisfied. I said something to the taller one and after a minute she said to me, “Oh I read your blog.” I complained to her that I shouldn’t have to work for her attention if she recognized me beforehand, but inside I really liked the fact that I have female readers worth hitting on.

Overall there were as many non-bloggers attendees as bloggers. It was great meeting people whose daily visits validate our attention whoring celebrations. I noticed that some readers took their sweet time introducing themselves, and I understand because the blogger girls can appear to be a rowdy, crazy bunch. Even I can’t keep up with them.

I remember back in the day when people would come to the happy hours because they heard it was a meat market. And it was: at each one there was at least one new pair who would meet and end up banging. But all the couples who wanted to bang already did so now it feels like we’re all old friends, I guess. I think it’s safe to say that the incestuous phase of the local blogging circuit has come to a quiet end, replaced by the drunken phase. I await the orgy phase.

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Special thanks to co-hosts V and Sally.


Check out V’s invite if you haven’t already seen it (there are photos). It will be the only time you’ll see me with glasses.

When you walk in Citron, head downstairs to the basement. There we will have some couches reserved for love-making. I’m not kidding. :hump:


The DCist people have struck back. Because they are not allowed to talk about me on DCist for fear of being fired, they are using Big Head Rob to voice their dissatisfaction to my recent comments.

?I?d say that?s indicative of trouble in his own house,? said Jason Linkins, aka the DCeiver, who writes about sports at DCist. ?When he decided to launch his own one-third assed version of Screenhead under the authorship of his cat, my reaction was: ?Oh. He?s over.??

The only trouble I have in my house is a moth problem. Even though it was well-received, it’s safe to say that Furball’s blog will not be going on my resume. Since I’m not a corporate entity hungry for eyeballs, a “failure” on my end still allows me to sleep at night.

The editor, whose firing I called for, was a little bit more feisty.

Cripes, Rob, who the heck is D.C. Bachelor? I think I may recall having heard of his site once or twice before, but after looking it over just now, it?s by no means clear to me why I should take anything he says seriously ? by all evidence he appears to be a self-proclaimed misogynist and all-around disgusting creep.

Has she been talking to my ex’s?

I mean he is selling a T-shirt that says ?I Pump and I Dump? on his site, and in his ?Hall of Fame? posts includes something called ?Girls Lack Conversation Skills.? Ick. Enough said. It seems obvious we are not catering to readers like him, so I?m not surprised he doesn?t like our site. I couldn?t care less.

With that kind of bitter attitude, it’s just a matter of time until she writes in to FDDC asking, “Why can’t I meet a man???” We get them all the time. I would like to extend an invitation to her for the Lovers Happy Hour; it’s much more fun to call me a disgusting creep in person than on the internet. I know girls who have done it and they tell me how great it made them feel.

I think in their haste to attack me, they forgot to address any of the points I brought up explaining their slow death. I’m sure they will get to it soon — after the next classical music agenda installment.


The Haters Happy Hour is no more. A new era begins…

Hosts: Me & Sally, Circle V

When: Thursday, October 19 @ 8PM

Where: Cafe Citron

Lovers at Citron… a long long time ago

I used to throw happy hours with my friend Insomnia. We lost interest after a while; I turned to DJ’ing and he got a girlfriend. But now the itch is back and V was the first person I asked to do this with me. Whenever I see her out, she’s always drinking and having a good time. She never makes drama. And of course no happy hour is complete without the lovely Sally. You haven’t lived until you see her awesome dance moves. :amused:

“Why is it called the Lovers Happy Hour?”

Oh, you’ll see. :hump:


I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but not all is well in the land of DC blogging.


Since their peak in March, traffic has been declining each month. This is bad news when you are owned by a company that claims it has “only just begun to grow!” With over two dozen staff members, I doubt they are making much money.

I wrote about the site way back in May 2005. Almost nothing has changed since then: they still regurgitate news from the Post, post weather updates, and feature local bands that no one wants to see. They are irrelevant in all matters related to DC blogging (DC Blogs eclipsed them long ago). I’m not really sure what they are supposed to be about.

It’s easy to bitch about something but hard to provide solutions, so I’m going to help them out. Here are five ways DCist can become a better blog:

1. Fire everyone, including the editor. They’ve gone through something like five editors in the past year and the site is getting progressively worse. That should be a hint to stop promoting from within. If your staff is sucking up the page, don’t pluck one to helm a sinking ship. Replace everyone with hippies who have interesting opinions.

2. Get rid of the classical music agenda. It’s nice you are trying to lock up the highly coveted over-70 crowd, but my grandfather does not read blogs.

3. Hire writers who have goals other than reaching a certain word count. Most posts are fluffy and can be halved without losing any meaning.

Bad writing: We know that many of you are skeptical that worthwhile culture could somehow bloom amidst the barren asphalt expanse of suburbia. But for those of you willing to maintain an open mind about such matters, we propose an evening raid of three of Annandale?s cultural gems in a series of lightning strikes that will enable you to get in, get out, and be back in your Mt. Pleasant basement apartment just in time for Charlie Rose. (76 words)

Translation: Surprisingly, there are places in the Annandale suburbs that are worth visiting. (12 words)

Also, don’t hire people who tried but failed to make it on the stand-up comedy circuit.

4. Write more about DC nightlife. You can easily kill the sorry Going Out Gurus by hiring two or three club rats who post pictures and write reviews that complain about attitude and service. Settle down with all those restaurant reviews; I don’t know anyone who eats out that much.

5. Dump the “continue reading” links. I know you need those to increase your page-view count for advertisers, but no one is going to click those if your lead is uninteresting, which is the case 100% of the time. Your olive branch has no olives.

Who would have known that DCist was at its best back when I first hated on them last year. It was under Mike Grass then, and other than the strange use of bold type, his one-man army is embarrasing a huge team of resume padders. Unfortunately, DCist has been reduced to nothing more than a vehicle for wannabes hoping to get a real journalism job.


DCB, Sally and I were talking about how awesome it would be if we went to a club and named dropped DC Bachelor and it magically got us into the club, no cover charge and possibly no waiting in line. I think I may have come up with a solution…

Remember DCB’s post about Fly Lounge and how the bouncers acted as if there were so many people in the club that they would not let him in? Well, I think I am going to try and become a cocktail waitress there. But, for my interview I am going to actually show up in my flight attendant outfit, so that they will hire me on the spot.

Ready for take-off

Maybe, if I work there, I can sometimes put up a guestlist and call it DC Bachelor. So name drop away when you come to the velvet rope of exclusion at Fly Lounge. I will be sure to tell my to-be co-workers about this world of blogging and how we have some crazy happy hours, all to draw them into the world of blog reading.

So, I am really hoping my plan will work. The guest list would only be for bloggers and we would start at Fly Lounge and eventually the name dropping of DC Bachelor will reach all of the clubs in DC. Muahahaha. Anyways….Hope you enjoy my outfit for my would be interview. Cheers!

With Love,