Back in July I was talking and dancing with a girl for a while, away from her large group of friends. If you can get a girl away from her group, you’re more than halfway there.
Towards the end of the night, one of her friends found her. “We thought you were dead!” The friend started crying and gave one of those hugs where tears would be left on the person’s shoulder. There was nothing I could do. My girl got dragged away by a group of girls who one hour ago were too busy shaking their ass to even realize their friend existed.
The “friends” are the only people in the universe whose mission is to prevent me from getting what I want. If I’m nice to your friends it’s not because I like them but because I need their lame stamp of approval since you are too insecure to make decisions on your own. In fact, I hate them and hope they die.
Okay, not die, but I curse them to at least becoming subway bag ladies.
One of the most useful skills a player can have is the ability to screen for a woman who wants sex. You can have the best game in the world but if you are investing energy into the wrong person then you will walk away disappointed. I’ve lost count of how many times I have spent hours on a girl only to find out she has intimacy issues. If within the first five minutes you can’t determine if she will have sex with you tonight, then it’s time to develop a better screening strategy.
I have a two-level screen process when it comes to meeting girls. The first is a compatibility screen. Simply think of all the girls that have ever seriously liked you and note down the physical and personality traits they possess. There is a pattern. It is easier to bed women who you share a natural chemistry with, but keep in mind that it is possible to manufacture chemistry for a short period of time with a girl you are normally incompatible with.
The intimacy screen is much more important. There is just one question you need to ask yourself: Is she serious about fucking? Here you need to think of all the girls who you have had sex with quickly and the traits that they put out. Again, there will be a pattern. Some of it is obvious: a girl who is outgoing and drinking alcohol is more likely to have sex with you than a shy girl who doesn’t drink. Sometimes it comes down to a certain vibe, and depending on your look it could even be a certain country that she is from.
If you are a guy who likes to get sex with the minimal amount of effort, you need to constantly reevaluate the pick-up as it is happening, asking yourself if she is serious about fucking you. This is the number one way to maximum the use of your time in a bar or club. Say no to wasting time on girls who aren’t serious about fucking, unless you are at the club to look for something more.
Do not confuse a girl who is serious about fucking with a girl who is a slut. I know girls who do not have many guy notches, but they have tons of sex because they find one guy they like and hold onto him for a long time. I also know girls who have slept with tons of guys, but their activity comes in spurts and they do it more because they need attention instead of because they just met an interesting guy. A girl who is serious about fucking will have sex with a guy she is very interested in, and won’t make you wait two months or some other arbitrary time that is longer than necessary.
Experience will be your guide in determining whether a girl is serious about fucking or not, but I have happened upon a few observations that can help in your determination.
1. Physical proximity. After attraction has been established, does she mind if you enter her physical space? Does she mind if you rest your hand on her hip? Does she mind if you rest your hand on her ass? If she does, she is not serious about fucking.
2. Dance floor. While dancing does she mind if you stick your crotch on her ass? Does she mind if you get a massive hard-on? If she does, she is not serious about fucking.
3. The kiss. Two hours. That is the longest it should take for a make-out. If she pulls back to block a possible kiss attempt when you get your head a little close, she is not serious about fucking.
4. The hand-hold. After dancing and maybe even kissing, there will be a time where you move to a different part of the club. Put out your hand. If she doesn’t grab it with a semi-firm grip, she is not serious about fucking.
5. Friend ditch. If she constantly needs to check on her friends and is scared of losing them, she is not serious about fucking.
Sometimes a girl passes every test but logistics make it impossible to seal the deal. Or maybe she really is serious about fucking you but she can’t do it until the first date because of some rule she just can’t break. Use proper judgment on whether it is worth it for you to proceed or not.
Now I’m sure many guys reading are thinking something like, “Wait, I met this girl and I got her number and after a couple dates we had sex.” That’s something I’ve done too and it’s definitely one way of getting sex, but it involves more work than many men are willing to put in. If you are trying to spend money and take girls out on dinner dates, I think you are looking for girls who are serious about dating instead of serious about fucking.
– Scared of his own desires
– Does not like his reflection in the mirror.
– Unable to go after what he wants.
– Passive in bed.
– Waits for permission.
– Looks for the nearest TV when you say the word “game.”
– Does not like to lead. Follower.
– Seeks identity in his career and not his masculinity.
– Afraid of taking risks.
– Qualifies his weaknesses.
– Worries about a girls’s pleasure before his own.
– Loves eating a girl out.
– Not a real man.
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Another night, another club, another girl. It’s going well with this one but you feel like you are doing all the work. She has a big group of friends she keeps talking to and it seems like if you don’t keep re-initiating conversation, the pick-up is over. Finally you decide to do a test: hang around but do not restart the conversation. Does she come to you? In this case she doesn’t. She doesn’t even look your way.
In this type of situation you can either leave, float around her general vicinity, or barrel through until you get a 100% clear sign she isn’t interested. But it’s easy to dismiss disinterest as something else. Maybe she is the type of girl who is shy around guys. Maybe she’s just playing hard-to-get. “Oh, she really wants it.”
There are three main degrees of interest a girl can have in you. The first is no interest. You don’t waste your time with these, and even if you wanted to, she wouldn’t give you the time of day. The second is lukewarm interest. She could like you, but she has to “get to know” you. This could take time, and may or may not be worth it depending on the girl. The third is instant interest. She saw you, and within two seconds she was attracted to you. There is something about your look or vibe that got her attention quickly.
There was a time when I would have pushed until I was absolutely certain it wasn’t going anywhere. But now do I really want to put in energy to pursue mediocre, aloof club girls? What exactly is my return on investment? Many players don’t think like this. They are machines, going after every opportunity, unrelenting. They have the shotgun approach.
The shotgun player does not care if a girl is showing interest or not; he’s going to fire and see what he hits. The second type of player has the kitchen sink approach. He has built a one-of-a-kind sink through years of experience and patiently waits for something to fall through the drain. The shotgun player gets more women, but he puts in the most amount of work and energy. He doesn’t make it look that easy. The kitchen sink player gets much less women, but he puts in very little energy.
It doesn’t matter to the shotgun player if the girl comes back or not. He will go back in and push until the girl turns her back to him. But the kitchen sink player does care. His whole system relies on screening out girls who are not willing to invest energy into him. He knows that if she does come back, he’s going to have a much easier time getting what he wants from her because she is willing to put in much of the work it takes to get her in bed.
I think men owe it to themselves to try both ways of playing the game. Each man’s personality is probably geared towards one method, and you won’t know unless you commit to both of them. From my experience, the shotgun approach is much more exciting. Your phone is blowing up with numbers, you are going out on a lot of dates, and you get more sexual variety. But it’s tiring. You are putting your lifeblood into girls you end up not liking. Kitchen sink approach is irregular and slow, but ultimately more satisfying. The emotional connection is greater because she is investing as much energy into you as you are to her. There’s more reciprocation.
In the end it comes down to how badly you want to get laid tonight. If you don’t care then you can afford to wait around until a girl bites. Otherwise, it’s going to be a long night.
A good way to get a girl out of the club is to get something to eat. It’s harmless and safe. I’ve been doing this for years without really thinking about if it leads to the bang or not.
It really doesn’t. A night of drinking mixed with food makes girls really tired. I feel like I can actually see it when the pizza grease hits her bloodstream. New rule: never, ever use food to venue change. Go straight from club to bedroom, very casual-like. Save your money.
This question usually comes after the girl has decided she wants to kiss you. She wants to make sure she is not being played. She wants to make sure she is making the right decision. She wants assurance that you will not pump and dump her.
There really is no wrong way you can answer this question. Yes, no, maybe. She has already made up her mind that you are a player and there is nothing you can do to change that. (The fact that she sticks around can very well mean that your player vibe is drawing her in.) Generally, though, you don’t want girls to think you are a player. Their guard goes up higher and you have to work that much harder.
If you get asked this question often, you have to think about what qualities you are putting out that make girls come to that conclusion. To find this out, simply respond with “Why do you say that?” They will usually list a couple things you do that set off a red flag. All you gotta do now is be more aware, adjusting your game so that eventually you become a sleeper. You want to appear to be such a normal guy when you are really the filthiest man in the club. She won’t know what hit her.
You’re at a club and get eyed by an average girl. If you game her you are guaranteed some action for very little work. It’s obvious she wants it. She will show interest and make it easy for you. She won’t try to play jealousy games and won’t expect you to buy her the bar. But she’s average. Should I let her have my primetime weekend night or pass to do cold approaches on the hottest girls here? It’s like investing: one vehicle is an online savings account with a guaranteed 4.5% interest rate that beats inflation and the other is the risky start-up stock that can either bust your wallet or pay off those student loans. Do you go for the guaranteed lay or roll the dice with a girl that is better?
I say do both. You need to fail with the hot club sluts to innovate your game (especially early game), but you also need the freebies to solidify your closing game and give you confidence boosters. As long as you don’t get complacent with freebies that could cause your game to go stale, it’s important to go for both types of girls to make your game well-rounded from start to finish. Strengthen the foundation with the freebies, but grow with brain-dead hotties.