Remember Jessa? (She is on the left in this picture.) In April I met her for the first time and wrote about it here. According to her away message, she is either getting married right now or about to get married.
I wish her a successful marriage that lasts all of eternity.
Chaco, good friend, prolific blog commenter, and hall of fame wingman (until her met her), is joining the DCB team. He will be posting every other Thursday starting this week, probably touching on relationships a little bit more than I do.
You can get a feeling for his writing and style through his guest stint at FDDC.
I believe firmly that the kiss of death in a relationship is ?too much, too soon.? When it?s too much too, too soon, the girl can go from ?wow this is great!? to ?wow?I need a break? very quickly, and the momentum can be lost just like that. You don?t want that kind of negative vibe in your relationship until you have built a solid foundation.
I’m sure you’re SO hot:
I have a better question: what is the best way to forget her and get another girl? It is very disempowering to have your hopes set on one girl who may or may not ever live near you again. Been there, done that, and it sucks. Your focus should be on new girls. The fact you are even asking this makes me think your game needs work.
The nice guy:
At your age, your socal status is not strictly determined by your professional standing, but more by your standing in your peer group. Are you a leader of the group? Do you set the agenda for what people do? Do the men in the group show you respect? Girls will pick up on your status very acutely, so you need to becomes a leader who commands respect. Don?t be the nice guy who goes along with everyone and allows himself to be the butt of jokes.
Welcome to the lion’s den.
A couple visitors have been coming here from a new blog called Urban Cowgirl. It takes me a while to warm up to a new blog — unless of course it’s written by a girl who puts up semi-nude pictures of herself. She looks like she would know how to please a man in bed. Now if only hedonistic would give us some facials instead of body shots. We get it, your body is nice for an older lady. But the face?
Robert Greene, the author of The 48 Laws Of Power, The Art of Seduction, and The 33 Strategies of War started a blog not too long ago called Power, Seduction, and War. Better go to the bathroom and grab some food before you start reading.
I just discovered The Dilbert Blog written by Scott Adams. Highly recommended.
My favorite blog right now, without a doubt, is Whiskey Bar.
Postscript: Urban Cowgirl does not appreciate the exposure that my linkage gave to her. Her blog is now password protected. I am granting her request to remove her link because she apparently has discussed activities which may not be suitable to readers who work for law enforcement agencies. According to commenters who actually read her blog — instead of only browsing through pictures like I did — she takes the time to entertain gentleman callers, if you know what I mean. *WINK WINK* :hump: :hump: *TRIPLE WINK*
My former college advisor is in today’s Post.
So great is student interest in learning how to talk intelligently about such matters that each semester, Sawyer’s course [human sexuality] has a waiting list of 100 students or more. This means most of the students are seniors, who get first pick, rather than freshmen, who might benefit more from the course.
The only way you could have gotten in his class is if you were a fifth year senior. Punishment went to those who finished college within four years.
One of my high school English teachers was in the Post a couple years ago. If only he could see my writing now.
Most coffeeshops are set up to be anti-social. Unless a girl I like is sitting next to me, there is very little chance there will be a conversation that leads to sex.
I have a solution:
My coffeeshop has only one table that everyone sits at (to encourage interaction). Also at each chair there is a console which has a numbered button for every seating position at the table. If you like someone at the table, simply push the button. Nothing happens unless that person pushes your button as well. Once a match has been made, a signal goes to the staff who comes out, makes an introduction, and gives a free chocolate chip cookie to everyone. And two hours every day, all electronics must be turned off or silenced. No laptops, no bluetooth, no cell phones. Only books, artsy crap, and musical instruments.
Even the trendy losers would eat this up because it’s kinda like myspace but with less attention whoring. Only problem I see is people abusing the matchmaker system to get free cookies.
I was at the coffeeshop the other night when the couple two tables over caught my eye. The woman was in a wheelchair sitting next to a man who appeared to have some sort of mental handicap. They were in embrace, gently touching each other, acting as if they were saying goodbye to each other for the last time. Both of their eyes were closed and every few minutes they would exchange a kiss. They looked like they were on the verge of tears but you had a feeling they were happy.
I’m staring at this couple, who are oblivious to everyone around them, and realize that their lives are harder than mine will probably ever get. Their day-to-day struggle for normalcy is much more difficult than it is for anyone I know. But they sit there, holding each other, experiencing a strong, deep connection which I’m not that qualified to describe. For a second you wish you have what they have, a very honest and simple love, but then your world begins to fade back in; you hear the espresso machine whirl, the cellphones ring, the flip-flops flip-flopping. And then the mouthbreathers around you kill any remaining emotional thought in your head.
Her van eventually came and he stood by for 5 minutes until she was safely strapped inside. He gave her a final kiss goodbye. Their world is their own: less complicated, quieter, and slower. With what they have, I doubt they care much about anything else. I’ll try to think more about that later, after another day of meetings, phone calls, emails, traffic, drama, exercising, spending money, cooking, plotting, cleaning. Lessons like these always seem so strong when they happen, until they just disapear with the noise that we fill our lives with.