Remember Jessa? (She is on the left in this picture.) In April I met her for the first time and wrote about it here. According to her away message, she is either getting married right now or about to get married.
I wish her a successful marriage that lasts all of eternity.
Chaco, good friend, prolific blog commenter, and hall of fame wingman (until her met her), is joining the DCB team. He will be posting every other Thursday starting this week, probably touching on relationships a little bit more than I do.
You can get a feeling for his writing and style through his guest stint at FDDC.
I believe firmly that the kiss of death in a relationship is ?too much, too soon.? When it?s too much too, too soon, the girl can go from ?wow this is great!? to ?wow?I need a break? very quickly, and the momentum can be lost just like that. You don?t want that kind of negative vibe in your relationship until you have built a solid foundation.
I have a better question: what is the best way to forget her and get another girl? It is very disempowering to have your hopes set on one girl who may or may not ever live near you again. Been there, done that, and it sucks. Your focus should be on new girls. The fact you are even asking this makes me think your game needs work.
At your age, your socal status is not strictly determined by your professional standing, but more by your standing in your peer group. Are you a leader of the group? Do you set the agenda for what people do? Do the men in the group show you respect? Girls will pick up on your status very acutely, so you need to becomes a leader who commands respect. Don?t be the nice guy who goes along with everyone and allows himself to be the butt of jokes.
Welcome to the lion’s den.
A couple visitors have been coming here from a new blog called Urban Cowgirl. It takes me a while to warm up to a new blog — unless of course it’s written by a girl who puts up semi-nude pictures of herself. She looks like she would know how to please a man in bed. Now if only hedonistic would give us some facials instead of body shots. We get it, your body is nice for an older lady. But the face?
Robert Greene, the author of The 48 Laws Of Power, The Art of Seduction, and The 33 Strategies of War started a blog not too long ago called Power, Seduction, and War. Better go to the bathroom and grab some food before you start reading.
I just discovered The Dilbert Blog written by Scott Adams. Highly recommended.
My favorite blog right now, without a doubt, is Whiskey Bar.
Postscript: Urban Cowgirl does not appreciate the exposure that my linkage gave to her. Her blog is now password protected. I am granting her request to remove her link because she apparently has discussed activities which may not be suitable to readers who work for law enforcement agencies. According to commenters who actually read her blog — instead of only browsing through pictures like I did — she takes the time to entertain gentleman callers, if you know what I mean. *WINK WINK* :hump: :hump: *TRIPLE WINK*
My former college advisor is in today’s Post.
So great is student interest in learning how to talk intelligently about such matters that each semester, Sawyer’s course [human sexuality] has a waiting list of 100 students or more. This means most of the students are seniors, who get first pick, rather than freshmen, who might benefit more from the course.
The only way you could have gotten in his class is if you were a fifth year senior. Punishment went to those who finished college within four years.
One of my high school English teachers was in the Post a couple years ago. If only he could see my writing now.
I recently stumbled across your web site and find myself going back to it whenever I feel negative, down on life, and having no life. It’s rare that I feel that way, but when I do, I certainly find myself doing activities that support this negative view on life - like, reading your blog. But I digress. So, this hopefully is one of the last few times I will be here and you have inspired me to exercise me freedom of speech, much as you have so cleverly done yourself.
A little background: I am a girl, of Eastern European and Meditteranean origin, born outside the U.S. and raised for the most part in the U.S. I currently live in Warsaw, Poland with my fiance. He owns a business and I work for a company. I am someone who takes great pride in being a woman, both from a physical perspective as well as cooking for my fiance and all that jazz. I also believe tremendously in the importance of being productive - the shape of this will morph throughout my life - now it is my professional and social life, tomorrow it may be kids, heck maybe one day it will be the garden, but all in all I find great pleasure in contributing to the world and the community in which I live. I also find tremendous richness and meaning in my life - my love life, my career, my friends, being in a new city and experiencing the world.
Why am I telling you this? I think you are on the wrong track with everything and living in this country has opened up my eyes to that. Sure, obesity in the Western World is a problem but that is a residue of modern life - the quality of food decreases and people lead busier lives. I work in the medical industry and even here, since communism fell, obesity is SLIGHTLY on the rise. And I
have lived before in DC and let me tell you most of the people there have a stick up their butt a mile long, but you are also living in a city where people, men and women, go to focus solely on themselves and their career. It’s not representative of the entire Western World. But you are missing the point. Everyone in the world should be as glad as to have the opportunities that men
AND women have in the U.S. Here in Poland, you would be surprised… many of the women are real leaders in the office, have kids and look fabulous. And the guys? Total losers. Most of them. Sorry to say. So, you see, you can be driven by your career and live a full life as well. The key is getting off at 5 pm whenever possible, in my opinion.
Whatever, listen, here is the deal. Your negativity kills me. Your hatred and scorn are poisounous. People always blame everything outside of themselves when they don’t really want to look at themselves and make the necessary change. I don’t care if you want to play lots of women and all that; men have been doing that for centuries. Just forget that you have it figured out and stop hating on the world around you and start to see the good in people. My God, if any of these words that I feel so strongly could just make you think for one second. It is people’s natural response to hotly defend their opinion, but I can tell you are not a complete idiot so just think about it. Look, you have a following already… why don’t you inspire them to do something good rather than just criticize the world around them. The fault is not always “American Women.” You put so much time and effort into this but what I see is only criticism and scorn.
Or, you continue to live your life and I will enjoy mine, no changes.
Most coffeeshops are set up to be anti-social. Unless a girl I like is sitting next to me, there is very little chance there will be a conversation that leads to sex.
I have a solution:
My coffeeshop has only one table that everyone sits at (to encourage interaction). Also at each chair there is a console which has a numbered button for every seating position at the table. If you like someone at the table, simply push the button. Nothing happens unless that person pushes your button as well. Once a match has been made, a signal goes to the staff who comes out, makes an introduction, and gives a free chocolate chip cookie to everyone. And two hours every day, all electronics must be turned off or silenced. No laptops, no bluetooth, no cell phones. Only books, artsy crap, and musical instruments.
Even the trendy losers would eat this up because it’s kinda like myspace but with less attention whoring. Only problem I see is people abusing the matchmaker system to get free cookies.
I was at the coffeeshop the other night when the couple two tables over caught my eye. The woman was in a wheelchair sitting next to a man who appeared to have some sort of mental handicap. They were in embrace, gently touching each other, acting as if they were saying goodbye to each other for the last time. Both of their eyes were closed and every few minutes they would exchange a kiss. They looked like they were on the verge of tears but you had a feeling they were happy.
I’m staring at this couple, who are oblivious to everyone around them, and realize that their lives are harder than mine will probably ever get. Their day-to-day struggle for normalcy is much more difficult than it is for anyone I know. But they sit there, holding each other, experiencing a strong, deep connection which I’m not that qualified to describe. For a second you wish you have what they have, a very honest and simple love, but then your world begins to fade back in; you hear the espresso machine whirl, the cellphones ring, the flip-flops flip-flopping. And then the mouthbreathers around you kill any remaining emotional thought in your head.
Her van eventually came and he stood by for 5 minutes until she was safely strapped inside. He gave her a final kiss goodbye. Their world is their own: less complicated, quieter, and slower. With what they have, I doubt they care much about anything else. I’ll try to think more about that later, after another day of meetings, phone calls, emails, traffic, drama, exercising, spending money, cooking, plotting, cleaning. Lessons like these always seem so strong when they happen, until they just disapear with the noise that we fill our lives with.