THE CASE FOR BALTIMORE

I think Baltimore is often overlooked by DC men searching for a weekend date spot. My latest dating study shows that a date in Baltimore offers several advantages over DC.

1. Cheap drinks. There is a Dragonfly clone called Sky Lounge in Fells Point. Four non-rail drinks cost $24. In Dragonfly it costs $32.

2. Early closing time (130AM). Guess what that means guys… you spend less money. “Damn shame they closed early because I wanted to buy you several more top-shelf drinks.” It creates a perfect excuse to continue drinking at your house since it is “still early.”

3. Your relative worth goes up. There are so many white boy losers in Baltimore that your value skyrockets. If she doesn’t think you are a cool guy before, she definitely will now as a crew of mouth-breathers try to hump your date.

The Baltimore journey should not be attempted by guys who easily tire behind the wheel, lest you want to risk wrecking your Altima.

Places you can take your date in Baltimore:

MemSahib Restaurant. Indian restaurant with belly dancing entertainment, owned by a long-time college buddy of mine. Great food.

Sky Lounge. The female bartenders have big boobs.

Brewer’s Art. I imagine this is how Local 16 was before it was invaded by the trendy white people. Chill place with a wide variety of beers. Downstairs brunette bartender has an unnaturally large rack that defies gravity.

Red Maple. Chill house club with a nice atmosphere. This is the closest Baltimore gets to being like DC.

Goodbye forever Hammerjacks and Power Plant. 🙁

34 thoughts on “THE CASE FOR BALTIMORE

  1. me

    Another cool place in B-more is Pazo- its a tapas/mezze restaurant in Fells Point. Think Zaytinya/Jaleo but with better food and less expensive. I have several girlfriends from college who live in Baltimore, and one thing I’ve noticed is that there are alot of successful guys there (there are some big banks there like Legg Mason), but alot of trashy girls. So if you are a nice looking, smart classy girl, your odds are in your favor there. But of course, this all depends on where you go. Stereotypes are based on something afterall, hun. hehe

  2. pamg

    I’m sorry but your post is really pathetic. If you have to take girls to Baltimore to convince them to like you, instead of taking them out in DC(where the guys are still NOT cool)you must really be a loser. I feel sorry for any girl who you manage to convince to go out with you in the first place since you apparently are all about trying to manipulate girls to get in their pants. I guess that’s what happens when your a huge dork and can’t get girls.

  3. pamg

    I’m just saying that anyone who spends this much time strategizing on ways to get into those pants has issues. Its obviously not coming naturally. And my point is that DCB must be a pathetic loser, I mean in case anyone missed that.

  4. zinger!

    Has Judy deflated herself yet rather then listen to the shear idiocy that comes out of your mouth?

  5. O-face

    Agree with this post. You also didn’t mention that Baltimore is such a great city for people who have low self esteem, especially coming from the VA/DC area. All the trash that a guy can pick up. Your odds are about the same as picking up a whore on 15th and Lst. Not a alot of variety though. Its just trash and more trash. There are a few drawbacks.
    1. Alot of single mothers with 2 boys.
    2. Usually some hidden addiction like meth or crack
    3. The white guys are all MTV gangsta. Dangerous combination when you add in alcohol and people watching.
    4. The cops are kind of corrupt and violent. I’ve seen them slam people on the ground a ton of times. But this should only make the producers of “Cops” wanna shoot more scenes in the city.

  6. pamg is an idiot

    what is so wrong with a man taking a woman out to Baltimore for a date? Is it really any different than taking somebody out to dinner in DC or locally? This may come as a shocker, but some people actually enjoy leaving DC and going out and trying new things. Imagine that! There are plenty of cool places outside of DC that are totally worth checking out. (Especially considering that DC really isn’t that cool to begin with) Maybe you should relax a little bit and stop thinking that each and every guy only wants to get into your pants. The more experience with dating you get, the easier it is to tell when that is the guy’s sole motivation. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t still give a guy a chance and open your mind up to something new.

  7. KassyK

    I have a friend that lives in Baltimore and she always has a great time. Not sure what she does there exactly but I’ve been to a few of those places and some of them are decent…definately a nice diff scene and but no offense to the city of Baltimore but its damn trashy there. Which can be appealing as well.

  8. Troll Army

    The chef of the baltimore location of MemSahib is good looking and word has it he has a big cock.

    Pamg go fuck urself. Enjoy the days and nights of masterbating that you have made your way of life. Chump

    And as always, RCR you are a tool and a fag.

  9. holiday

    They don’t call it charm city for nothing. Although I’ve only done the touristy things in Baltimore, I’ve heard that there is a really great live music scene up there.

  10. chicgirl

    lifehouse is playing tonight. i consider that great live music but it may just be me and the 14 year olds!

  11. Heather

    DCB has it right on. There are Baltimorons everywhere especially at the clubs. Some guy spit beer on my at the Have a Nice Day Cafe the other week when I wouldn’t dance with him.

  12. Joe

    How about the “John Waters Tour” of Baltimore with stops at all the trailer parks, diners, donut shops, dive bars, cemetaries, crack houses, and pool halls as well as John Waters’ and Divine’s childhood homes… a sure winner and I’m certain it can be done relatively cheaply!

  13. Sally

    I’m reading about the Bad Boy of Baltimore, H.L. Mencken, right now! You should take a date to his old home at 1524 Hollins Street! You can invite her with a cupcake decorated to look like a copy of the Baltimore Sun.

  14. Liz

    I have to give you props. Skylounge is a great place. There’s a weekly party there called Delivery on Sunday nights. A bunch of my friends play there frequently, it’s good times.

    I love DC, I lived in the area for a big chunk of my life. But I’m really happy in the Baltimore area too. It feels like home.

  15. Liz

    And as for the “trash and more trash,” a big part of that is all the NY and NJ scum that go to school up there.

  16. KassyK

    Liz-ouch…Im from NJ/NY and I am def not scum…but then again maybe its a college thing-I barely know anyone from the tri-state area that moves to Baltimore. Nothing against it-I like the city a lot but its mostly a city of Marylanders and not tri-state area adults…

  17. Liz

    It’s definitely the college kids.

    As in spoiled-yuppy-poser-collar-popping-guido fratholes and sorostitutes.

    My school was full of em. I’m so glad I’m out of college.

  18. Joe

    Congrats to DCB for the free media…

    KassyK, Ballmer is the right armpit of America (the left one being Oakland)… but it’s a pleasant armpit. Youse can have fun there!

  19. Evie

    So let me ask you this, and I’m being serious, because trollers make me want to stab someone’s cute little dog in the face sometimes, I get so mad-

    A troller is just a little a-hole who leaves comments that are personal attacks. (I feel much better knowing that they have a name and are recognized as assholes.) How do you deal? Does it piss you off? do you want to stab someone’s little dog in the face?

    Just looking for a support group here, I’m a girl, you know we need that kind of shit every now and again.

  20. Pingback: Club Rain & The Band Theory » Roosh V

Comments are closed.