When I was four years old, my mom shipped me off to day-care after she rejoined the workforce. My parents worked late hours so I was usually the last one to leave, and always in a state of fear that no one would come to pick me up. (It actually came true once when there was a huge snowstorm and my parents couldn’t make it. My teacher and her boyfriend gave me a ride home in a Jeep.)

My daycare was like a revolving door for little tykes – someone would come or go every week. One day there was a new Latin girl who didn’t speak a lot of English. She sat across from me at lunch and I made sure to not make any eye contact with her. After a couple days, the other kids were making fun of me, something about me and her sitting in a tree. At the end of her third or fourth day, she came up to me, smiled, and gave me a huge, wet kiss. I was in total shock, so when I got home I did what any other shy four year old would do: I cried… a lot. I told my mom what happened and she called all my relatives to tell them the exciting news. She was proud of her son. The next day she mentioned the incident to my teacher because I was seriously scared to go back to daycare. Then suddenly, the Latin girl stopped coming to school. It would be decades until I would experience Latin lips again. When it comes to romance, I’ve always been my own worst enemy.

24 thoughts on “BIG PIMPIN’

  1. vb

    in england my kindergarten teacher caught me and some girl in the closet getting naked. she told my dad when he picked me up. he thought it was funny and told all his friends. he used to tease me for years. my game began really early.

  2. chicbutnotshady

    Dennis clearly has an issue with women.

    Anyway, DCB – you sounded like the cutest little boy! Who wouldn’t give a shy little boy like that a big hug & kiss.

    My dad congratulated my younger brother when he devirginized at 17 in our basement. Being a female, I was grounded when he caught me kissing a boy at 17. These are the benefits to being a young male!

  3. Sudamericana

    Definitely your cutest post ever :love:

    I agree that we Latin chicks can be pretty scary sometimes

  4. Jesus Christ

    Do a best women poll. I gurantee Latin Woman will win in all categories. But you won’t do it because your scared. Scared to go to hell. Muhahahhhaah. But seriousily, I love latina’s, white chicks, and black women the most. Asians and Indians are cool but they don’t dig my beliefs.

  5. Namaste

    Jesus is funny.

    Do you lump Italian women in with white women? May I ask that you don’t? I look forward to this women poll.

  6. Jesus Christ

    So right cookie. Canada has some of the most beautiful women on the planet, especially Toronto, Montreal, and Vancouver. The thing about em is that they don’t have the american ego or shallowness. I highly encourage you all to make a visit. I am, soon as I back from Jerusalem.

  7. Jesus Christ

    Oh I do lump Italians in with white womnen. Just because its easier that way. But they are some of the worlds most beautiful earthlings on the planet. Right behind the latin queens though.

  8. grasshopper

    my very first friend when i arrived to the u.s. at 3yrs was a little latin boy that lived across the street from me. i smile til this day when i think abt how we used to run the streets of our neighborhood, just doing nothing and everything (playing kick-ball, b-ball, having toasted thomas’s english muffins with butter and jam, etc). that’s probably where my fondness for all things latin comes from. it’s kind of amazing how you can remember the little detail of someone who has touched your life. thanks for writing this DCB, it’s helped me to remember someone special.

  9. Liz

    “Dude, what if that was Shakira?”

    Shakira was on SNL last night. She scared me.

    Granted I had taken 3 hits of acid and was tripping balls, but yeah. Scary.

  10. UR

    Kindergarten, Natasha, first kiss on the lips in her playhouse…her second that day was my little brother, her third, my best friend…haven’t dug Russian chicks since.

  11. tommy

    Latino girls rock! It’s kinda like having a black chick, a white chick, and a native american chick all rolled into one:-) (of course i’m not serious)

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