On Sunday I was out driving with my sister when I got the sudden craving for a Burger King Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch. The first time I saw the Hootie commercial I laughed at its stupidity, but like a fungus it has grown on me. Every time I watch it I fall under a hypnotic spell and can’t stop thinking of Darius Rucker in that cowboy outfit. I plan on trying out the sandwich this weekend, following it down with their delicious textured french fries, fresh out the grease.
Burger King really wants me to have it my way because they’re making big moves in the heart attack business. Check out this 730 calorie breakfast sandwich:
Here’s a first quarter rundown of the places that are in and out, according to me:
Jerry’s Sub – Their steak and cheese is still the best.
Chipotle – I can’t find a person who doesn’t feel like shit after eating their burrito.
Five Guys – Horrible service.
Subway has recently demolished Quiznos’ competitive advantage through the simple addiction of a twenty dollar toaster in their stores. Did Quizno’s really think the toasting-bread-to-hide-it’s-staleness scam was going to last?