Update your bookmarks, I have moved to a new domain:

www.rooshv.com

I was working late one night downtown and decided to take a cab home rather than the Metro. The taxi driver was an American black guy, probably in his late 30’s. I was pretty tired and sunk down in the back seat, but not 30 seconds into the ride, he started talking to me.

Cab driver: “What’s up, man?”

Chaco: “Not much.” I didn’t want to talk.

Cab driver: “Man, my girl was a BITCH last night” (he emphasized the word “bitch” in the way only a black man can).

Chaco: “Oh?”, I said meekly, really not wanting to hear about it, but it seemed he had a lot to get off his chest.

Cab driver: “Yeah man, a bitch! And you know why, right?”

Chaco: “Uh…No?” Because you’re the kind of guy who calls his girlfriend a “bitch”?

Cab driver: “Because I didn’t give it to my bitch the night before. You know bitches get all bitchy when you don’t give it to them, right?!”

Actually, no, I didn’t know that. How could I know? At the time, I had no game. Like zero. Therefore, my first thought upon hearing this dude complain about his woman acting bitchy because he had not “given it to her” was to think, “This brother needs some sensitivity training.” In fact, I even debated whether I should let him know he should be more sensitive to women. After all, not only was he calling his girlfriend a “bitch,” he was speaking of having sex with her rather crudely. In the end, I decided that my first priority was to get home safely and not pick a fight with this dude who might throw me out of his cab in a bad neighborhood late at night, so I retreated from the high moral ground and let him do his thing.

He continued…

Cab driver: “Damn, them bitches get so bitchy when you don’t give it to them.”

Chaco: “Uh…yeah?”.

Cab Driver: “I guess I should have just given it to her.”

Chaco: “Yeah…maybe”

Cab Driver: “That’ll teach my ass a lesson - next time, give it to the bitch or they get bitchy on your ass!”

He went on like this for the remaining 10 minutes of the cab ride. It was all he talked about and he never stopped. I made it safely home and I figured I should be satisfied with that, even if I did have to suffer through the rantings of an insensitive cab driver.

But then something strange started to happen. I began to tell my friends the story (in casual company) and expected to end up in deep debates about the state of gender relations in our society. Instead, I was shocked by the response of my female friends: every one laughed and said, “Yeah, that’s true.”

What?! Where was the outrage? Where were the calls for mandatory sensitivity training starting in 6th grade? I couldn’t believe it. In high school I had been one of those guys who thought girls didn’t enjoy sex. I mean, they were always saying “no,” so they must not like it, right? In college, I actually believed my sexual harassment training that “no means no” 100% of the time. I had always tried to be respectful of women, and being respectful meant not making any physical moves too soon, least I might “offend” them and they would think I was some date raping pig. The only girls I had dated to that point had basically thrown themselves at me.

Later on in life I realized that I needed to develop some game, and once I started making progress, the truth of the cab drivers words became clear to me. I have now come to believe that women care more about sexual satisfaction than men. Women may be pickier about who they sleep with, but once they pick you, they will want sex more badly than most men. It still kind of amazes me at times, but it has been such a consistent observation that I can’t believe anything otherwise.

Sometimes I still remember that cab driver and think the universe was sending me a message I needed to hear. My genes were at great risk of never being passed on, so the gods sent someone to plant a seed of truth in me. And since then, every girlfriend of mine has eventually heard the story about that cab driver and responded the same way: she laughs and says, “Yeah, that’s true.”

I wish her a successful marriage that lasts all of eternity.

She did not catch any pigeons.

In Seville I walked with the hostel crowd to some bars off the Guadalquivir River. There’s a wall against parts of the river where you can sit down and relax, and we put ourselves next to three guys who were singing and drinking to improvised drum beats. These guys attracted more people than the actual bars behind them and it seemed like they weren’t even trying; they were just having fun. I was pretty mesmerized by them, especially the one in the white shirt who sang with so much energy that he was red and exhausted after every song.

When I came home from Spain, I was so inspired by their performance that I ordered an instructional book to learn how to play my djembe drum. I am sure I will open that book any day now.

Prayer request prayers from believers of Jesus.

1. Put your back to your cubicle entrance and practice falling asleep with one hand on the keyboard and the other on the mouse. (Make sure you have a work-related document open on the screen.) This is easy to do if you have a chair that has a high back. There are two things to watch out for: (1) Your screensaver may activate while you nap, and (2) Your hand may smash some keys, making people who pass by you wonder why you have a screen full of G’s. When someone knocks on the frame of your cubicle entrance, waking you up, they will confuse your tired haze with deep and creative thought.

2. Assume you are doing a perfect job unless your boss gives regular feedback, which he probably doesn’t. When you are rated incompetent in several areas during your yearly performance review, go through the five stages of grief. They will admire the fact that you “care” and may not put you under a “performance management plan.” Bonus: Refuse to sign the evaluation right away, saying you are upset and need to think things through.

3. Do not get buddy-buddy with your boss. Rapport with you boss will just make it easier for him to ask special favors of you that do not translate into more pay. Stay distant: When he asks how your weekend was, repeat the same thing every week (”Oh I just sat around the house and watched TV”) until he stops asking. Instead, be nice to everyone but you boss. This way if he tries to fire you, everyone will chime in and say what a great person you are, weakening his power and making him appear delusional.

4. Be average. Do just enough work to not get fired but not so much work that they consider you for management. The responsibilities that come with management rarely makes it worth the often measly increase in pay. Plus if you are reading this right now you are not busy or important enough to be someone whose decisions will ever matter.

5. Always have one good idea in the bag if your slacking is being noticed by many people. Examples:

- Intranet wiki that never gets updated
- Employee suggestion box/committee
- Online bulletin board to post about lost keys
- A database of some sort
- A corporate blog
- Company-wide distribution of “Who Moved My Cheese” to improve morale
- A new system to streamline office supply ordering that involves laminated cards and an in-box.
- Quarterly newsletter with a section that features employee pets.

6. Contemplate killing yourself. Or, walk by the break room every 30 minutes to see if there is any leftover food, in the middle of yet another attempt to break your record of most number of times you can check your personal email in one day.

Postscript: I moved too. Until the other roommate moves out, my creative genius is produced from a dining room table.

I am a 21-year-old woman who married four months ago. I have been with my husband for six years and in that time grew to love him more and more each day. At this point, I couldn’t imagine my life without him. But he insists that we make love every day, and we have been doing that for years. I now regret that the passion I once had isn’t there. I feel like I am doing it just for him and don’t know how to approach him (it is a very sensitive situation).

The answer:

Suggest he pursue an exciting new career as a driller on an offshore oil rig. Or an astronaut on the International Space Station. On the surface, there’s nothing that unusual about a very young man with a willing sexual partner wanting to do it all the time. But there’s something in your account that smacks of compulsion?hasn’t he ever had a cold, been too tired from work or school, or just wanted to watch sports? … But if, in response to your request, he whines or bullies, then you need joint counseling?you can find referrals at the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy and the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists. (emphasis added)

Only in America would someone recommend a man go to counseling for wanting sex from his wife. Do you think when he got married he thought he’d face the prospect of infrequent sex while still in his early 20’s?

Towards the end of the night, one of her friends found her. “We thought you were dead!” The friend started crying and gave one of those hugs where tears would be left on the person’s shoulder. There was nothing I could do. My girl got dragged away by a group of girls who one hour ago were too busy shaking their ass to even realize their friend existed.

The “friends” are the only people in the universe whose mission is to prevent me from getting what I want. If I’m nice to your friends it’s not because I like them but because I need their lame stamp of approval since you are too insecure to make decisions on your own. In fact, I hate them and hope they die.

Okay, not die, but I curse them to at least becoming subway bag ladies.

When I grew my hair out, I noticed that I would attract a different type of girl. The quantity didn’t change, but now I was spending time with art snobs, hippies, international girls, and emotional crazies. They are the type that tend to eat foods I can’t pronounce and hate either capitalism or American foreign policy. Conversation flows a little better now.

Looking like you just came out of the woods works because not every girl likes clean-shaven guys with short hair. Some girls like medium length hair, and some like long hair. The farther your look is from the mainstream, the less girls there will be to like it, but the ones that do like your look will like it with passion. And passion is important when it comes to sex.

Therefore, I’ve decided to lock up the bear-hunter look with long hair and a dangerous beard. If a girl likes this look then she doesn’t have a whole lot of options in the area: at my height there are only five guys in DC that look like bear-hunters but none of them have any game. So really I’m the only option. That means easy sex for me without ever having to wear a buttoned shirt with blue horizontal stripes.

I’m going to go buy a few boxes of condoms now to prepare for the winter.

It’s not about trapping the guy. That’s kind of old-fashioned. Yeah, you want him to be into it, but there are other ways to get a guy to commit. If you’re smart and in a good relationship, it’s just about the fact that you want a kid. I see and hear people talk about it, and I understand. I get it and I don’t even think it’s that manipulative. It’s more like, ‘Hey, the timing is right for me. I got pregnant–oops! Well, it’s here, let’s have it.’ I think that’s more the way it is now than it was back in the day when you had to marry someone before you got pregnant. Marriage doesn’t matter now. (emphasis added)

Jody
got pregnant without telling her boyfriend

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Any guy with a heart and soul, and preferably with a job, once he sees the baby on the sonogram or hears the heartbeat, will melt.

Vicky Iovine
author of The Girlfriends’ Guide to Pregnancy

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She was like, ‘You know what? You gotta be a man. You’re gonna have to have a job 40 hours a week, and you need to support this child — this is your responsibility and your obligation.’ And I’m thinking to myself, like, ‘How is all of this my responsibility and my obligation when none of this was my choice?’

Jeremy
new father after girlfriend went off birth control without telling him

A few years ago I remember making fun of a friend for being so paranoid about this very same thing. He was dating an older woman he didn’t trust and would take home used condoms wrapped in toilet paper after spending time at her place. My experience since then suggests that he was more smart than crazy.

Guys, it’s simple: do not allow your sperm inside a vagina unless you are ready to have a child with the woman attached to it. Birth control or not, there is no amount of pleasure worth giving up reproductive control over.

If I got a girl pregnant right now, and she insisted on keeping it, I’d skip out of the country without hesitation. Since I’m very careful with my seed, any girl who gets pregnant by me is 100% using nefarious means and deserves no support or money for her deception. Send me pictures every five years.

I’ll be a father when I’m ready, not because a reformed whore is bored with her life.

Overall there were as many non-bloggers attendees as bloggers. It was great meeting people whose daily visits validate our attention whoring celebrations. I noticed that some readers took their sweet time introducing themselves, and I understand because the blogger girls can appear to be a rowdy, crazy bunch. Even I can’t keep up with them.

I remember back in the day when people would come to the happy hours because they heard it was a meat market. And it was: at each one there was at least one new pair who would meet and end up banging. But all the couples who wanted to bang already did so now it feels like we’re all old friends, I guess. I think it’s safe to say that the incestuous phase of the local blogging circuit has come to a quiet end, replaced by the drunken phase. I await the orgy phase.

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Special thanks to co-hosts V and Sally.

Five years after 9/11, our enemies have not succeeded in launching another attack on our soil, but they’ve not been idle. Al Qaeda and those inspired by its hateful ideology have carried out terrorist attacks in more than two dozen nations. And just last month, they were foiled in a plot to blow up passenger planes headed for the United States. They remain determined to attack America and kill our citizens — and we are determined to stop them. We’ll continue to give the men and women who protect us every resource and legal authority they need to do their jobs.

George W. Bush
September 11, 2006

The president pledged to the American people that he would do whatever he could within the Constitution to protect this country. It has always been the case since we’ve had electronic communications that in a time of war this country engages in electronic surveillance in order to get information about the enemy.

We need to know who the enemy is. We need to know what the enemy is thinking. We need to know where the enemy is thinking about striking us again. And so absolutely, this president is going to utilize all the tools that are available to him to protect this country and I think the American people expect that of the president of the United States, who is the only public official charged, not only with the authority with [sic] the duty of protecting all Americans.

Albert Gonzales, Attorney General
January 16, 2006

That’s the standard way you cloak and protect power: you make it look mysterious and secret above the ordinary person — otherwise why should anyone accept it? Well, they’re willing to accept it out of fear that some great enemies are about to destroy them and because of that they’ll cede their authority to the Lord, or the King, or the President or something just to protect themselves. That’s the way governments work — that’s the way any system of power works…

Noam Chomsky
1989

I used to love playing the game. I loved the anticipation of adventure each night out brought. I enjoyed the personal challenge of risking my ego on each approach. I found satisfaction in gaining the interest of attractive women who had been strangers to me just minutes before. And then there are those moments of triumph when everything fell into place and neither one of you wanted the night to end. Man, me and my wings thought this was the life and those guys in the dating world were chumps for buying dinners and presents for their girlfriends who would then spend “girls nights out” in Adams Morgan grinding (and sometimes plenty more) with player dudes on the dance floor.

But funny how time changes things. After what seemed an endless blur of nights out, I started to grow increasingly frustrated with the costs of the game. Mindless conversations with drunk girls who can’t focus on anything for more than 30 seconds. Smoky bars that seem like certain lung cancer incubators. Feeling like I wanted to sleep on the floor of my office due to too many nights out past 2:00 AM per week. And the bane of every player’s existence: the flakes. There were times when I got a phone number from a girl who seemed so interested when she gave it to me that I wanted to notch my belt in advance, only to have her never return my phone call.

Right in the midst of my growing frustration, it happened: I met a girl I really liked. No, not my current girl, but the girl who made everything that happened with my current girlfriend possible. She was fun, shared many of my interests, and treated me very well. Though I kept on going out to bars and clubs for part of the time we dated (she and I had “an understanding” about our lives apart from each other), pretty soon, the drunk girls in bars seemed far less tolerable. Why should I be out in these smoky bars until 2:00 or 3:00 AM talking to girls who I didn’t have any feeling for or any real possibility of forming a connection with? Why wouldn’t I rather being spending my time with a sweet girl who would treat me well and assure me a good time?

After a year it didn’t work out with that particular girl, but I had changed. I wanted a serious girlfriend now. I wanted someone who could make me happy on every level. When I met my current girl and everything between us was perfect in every way, the game didn’t stand a chance. I had found a super smart girl who has her act together, never plays games, and treats me like a king (and she is damn cute too). I stopped going out to bars, committed myself to perfect exclusivity, and never regretted the decision. The symbolic end of my personal player era came one night at club with my girlfriend. We were ordering drinks and I saw two guys approaching two girls just as I and my wings might have in the past. I pointed it out to her and perhaps I seemed wistful, because she asked “Do you miss it?” I thought for a moment and said truthfully, “No, this is better.”

I have heard some say that guys settle down with the first girl they date once they become ready for marriage. I am not so sure that is true, at least not always. I think some guys grow up assuming they will marry the first great girl they meet and never play the game. Other guys have to go through this ‘playing the field’ process until they grow fed up with it. In my case, it was a combination of becoming ready emotionally after playing the field and, through luck and good karma, meeting someone who was ideal for me. If I had not met someone as great as my girlfriend, who knows, I might still be out there searching for that special one.

If you girls out there are searching for Mr. Right, don’t give up on a guy who has a player past, even a recent one. Check first to see how he feels about the game and give him a chance to see you as a better alternative. Giving that type of guy a chance might be the best move you ever made.

When you walk in Citron, head downstairs to the basement. There we will have some couches reserved for love-making. I’m not kidding.

You can get a feeling for his writing and style through his guest stint at FDDC.

Sleepover time:

I believe firmly that the kiss of death in a relationship is ?too much, too soon.? When it?s too much too, too soon, the girl can go from ?wow this is great!? to ?wow?I need a break? very quickly, and the momentum can be lost just like that. You don?t want that kind of negative vibe in your relationship until you have built a solid foundation.

I’m sure you’re SO hot:

I have a better question: what is the best way to forget her and get another girl? It is very disempowering to have your hopes set on one girl who may or may not ever live near you again. Been there, done that, and it sucks. Your focus should be on new girls. The fact you are even asking this makes me think your game needs work.

The nice guy:

At your age, your socal status is not strictly determined by your professional standing, but more by your standing in your peer group. Are you a leader of the group? Do you set the agenda for what people do? Do the men in the group show you respect? Girls will pick up on your status very acutely, so you need to becomes a leader who commands respect. Don?t be the nice guy who goes along with everyone and allows himself to be the butt of jokes.

Welcome to the lion’s den.