Let me have your attention for a moment. So you’re talking about what? You’re talking about… bitching about some broad you didn’t bang, some slut who fucks every guy in the bar except you. Well I’m here from the streets. And I’m here on a mission of mercy.

You call yourself a man, you son of a bitch? Oh, have I got your attention now? You got prospects. You spent good time in those clubs to get those prospects. Get them on the phone and mack to them! You can’t close the prospects you got, you can’t close shit, you ARE shit. Hit the bricks pal and beat it ’cause you are not a man.

Your name is… “you’re wanting.” And you can’t play in a man’s game. You can’t close them. And you go home and tell your buddies your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life… get them to put out!

A-B-C. A-always, B-be, C-closing. Always be closing! Always be closing!! A-I-D-A. Attention, interest, decision, action. Attention — do I have your attention? Interest — are you interested? I know you are because it’s fuck or jerk. Decision — have you made your decision for Christ?!! And action. A-I-D-A; get out there!! You got the prospects; you think she gave you her number to get out of the rain? Girls don’t give the digits unless they want it. They’re sitting out there waiting to give you their sex! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it?

You see my bedpost. You see it? My bedpost has more notches than you will have in your entire life. You see, pal, that’s who I am. And you’re nothing. Nice guy? I don’t give a shit. Good father? Fuck you — go home and play with your kids! You wanna play this game? Close!! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can’t take this — how can you take the abuse you get from a woman?! You don’t like it — leave. I can go out there tonight with the game you got, and bang! Bang! Tonight! In two hours! Can you? Go and do likewise! A-I-D-A!! Get mad! You sons of bitches! Get mad!! You know what it takes to play the game?

It takes brass balls to play the game.

Go and do likewise, gents. The broads are out there, you pick them up, they’re yours. You don’t — I have no sympathy for you. You wanna go out there to those bars tonight and close, close, it’s yours. If not you’re going home alone again. Bunch of losers sitting around in a bedroom: “Oh yeah, I used to be a player, it’s a tough racket.”

You see these scraps of paper? These are the new prospects. These are the A-crowd leads. And to you, they’re gold. And you don’t get them. Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. They’re for closers. I’d wish you good luck but you wouldn’t know what to do with it if you got it.


  1. Aja

    I imagine you bitch slapping some young kid who just stepped on your Samuel Adams while two video hoes stand on each side of you (Ali G-esque).

  2. Muffin

    “We learned all of that the first day in Rape 101.”

    That was hilarious. Of course you are a deluded early 20s woman or a emasculated emo timmy man, but you are funny.

    So I was talking to a friend of mine tonight who works for the Innocence Project. She was telling me about the hilarious letters they get from cons who claim they are “innocent”. She got one the other day that said “I may have beat the bitch’s ass, but I did NOT rape her.”

  3. Muffin

    AIDA is just Mystery Method shit. You’re taking advice from an emotionally unstable 6-foot Canadian wanna-be goth.

    Not that I blame you.


    OK man I gotta say thank you . That post was the bitch slap post I needed. I was always scared of get this my sucesses than my failure. I was learning game and reading your blogs. You know what Im glad you posted and edited that. Everytime I go out now I read that besides the youtube speech Balwin gave in that movie. That is the ultimate motivator.

    You either do it or dont but dont Bullshit it. mad props and respect to you man and whenever I go back home to D.C. , if im lucky to see you, Ill definatly thank you with the cutiest chick i pick up man

  5. Richard Cipollone

    fuckin’ mickey mouse sex conference. Where the hell does he get off?

    That scene is one of my favourite scenes in Glengary Glenross, and I have to say that sales is very similar to picking up. So the relevance is 100%. Got a huge laugh out of it, though.

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