GUTTERSLUTS, HOUSEWIVES & SECRETARIES

Some people are really stupid. I, on the other hand, am not.

It took me about three seconds to recognize D.C. gutterslut-stalker’s comments on my last post, TOP TEN WAYS TO SPOT A POSEUR.

Guess I struck a nerve. She must think I was talking about her poseur ways.

This girl has been posting nasty comments on DCB’s site lately. And, I’ve seen her comments on other blogs in the past. I’d recognize her words from 100 servers away.

She calls herself a “veteran to the D.C. scene,” but that is just short for “old and out of the loop.” Now, all she really does is sit around, trolling in the blogosphere from work. It’s weird, if you ask me.

And, judging from her comments, I do not see how she gets any work done. I guess that’s why she’s making the big bucks – not.

She writes things about me, tries to act like she knows the details of my life. But she does know anything. She only knows what my ex tells her, and what she reads in my posts.

I imagine that she is one of these gutterslut-spinsters turned sad housewives. Now, she is upset that she is married, barefoot, poor and pregnant. I imagine that she is a very miserable.

From what I’ve heard, she sits around all day, calling people on the phone, saying things like, “did you hear what so-and-so did?” … as she eats everything in sight like a starved Metro rat.

I guess this must be what most secretaries and housewives do all day … chew gum, eat Krispy Kreme donuts, talk to friends, post to blogs.

But here is what I wonder: Why would some herpes-laden parasitic troll care about me, the D.C. scene or DCB’s dating habits? Is she really so unhappy with herself that she has to pick on people she doesn’t even know?

Is she a desperate housewife? Or, is she a closet lesbian that secretly wants to have my baby?

Whatever it is, I am embarrassed for this trollop. And, I feel sorry for her unborn son. Geesh, that kid is going to be one f’ed up little imp. What did he do in a former life to deserve this woman as a mother?

If you saw this woman at a social event, you’d never know. But look a little deeper, and you would find a sad, slattern hiding behind that ‘Blue Steel’ pose, fake pearls, ‘gently worn’ Jimmy Choo shoes from ebay, and that nice “vintage” (aka Goodwill) dress. Why the get-up? Why the take the time? Why is she trying to look like someone she’s not? Why isn’t she happy being herself?

It’s pathetic.

And, it’s one example of a poseur in action.

30 thoughts on “GUTTERSLUTS, HOUSEWIVES & SECRETARIES

  1. Liz

    Okay, I’m being completely honest and sincere when I say this.

    Who fucking cares? So what if someone doesn’t like you? So fucking what? Is it really worth the time and effort to “blog” about it?

    Jesus tap-dancing Christ…

  2. Spaniard

    You can always count on Liz for profound comments that question your existence. Thanks for the input.

  3. A_Unique_Alias

    It was about time, holiday. I was really missing out on watching assholes act like assholes while accusing other assholes of being assholes.

    BTW, DCB, would you please take my IP off the banned list?? I’m tired of having to get to your site by going through servers in Vietnam. It’s a pain in the ass.

  4. greg

    This post is pathetic. It’s just an eclectic collection of boilerplate high-school insults: “I hear she…”, “I imagine that…”. DCB, you’ve always given us great content, which is why many of us read your site in the first place. This comes nowhere near to that level.

  5. Anonymous

    I agree with greg. After so many quality posts, it’s unfortunate to read immature verbal lashings like these. There are some of us who are truly anonymous readers who enjoy this blog for the observational humor. This guest contributor is venting her personal issues to a targeted audience. It’s unentertaining for the rest of us.

  6. Suzanne

    That post is pathetic. Seems like MM forgot to take her meds today. At least I would hope that’s the reason for such a negative, jr.-high-school-mentality posting. I am beginning to believe that her credentials are indeed faux.

  7. A true Gem/used to be waitress

    Does MM always have to harp on the material? I don’t think her gutterslut ever wears fake pearls or fake fur for that matter– or Jimmy Choos (that is so noveau)– but anyway MM, if it makes you feel better– kudos to your rants.

    Just b/c you may be poor..doesn’t mean others are– and what the hell is wrong with secretaries and housewives. I have a great affection towards mine.

    Wish you the best MM- the bitterness that seeps through your veins & how you put everyone down really is such a shame. I think you should start a column just for bashing— oh wait..you already did that & it went down in flames.

    Okay– I’m off to make banana flambe and then I have to go to my part-time job to practice my dictation. I think you live way too much in the material world– but for the record- no one ever needs to wear fake pearls– esp. if they’re family is in gem trading…

  8. concerned citizen

    Sounds like someone has struck a nerve with Metropolis.
    I give Miss Metropolis less than a year before her next nervous breakdown.
    DC has a habbit of spitting out trash.

  9. J.P.

    Are you saying that DC creates trash or are you saying it spits out disgusting trash much like I spit out a badly made gin and tonic?

  10. citizen x

    To JP:
    DC does both, but in MM’s case– she was cleary trash when she arrived.

    It is one thing to rant on adults, quite another to wish ill-will upon the unborn.
    MM wishes she had the ablity to conceive, never mind marriage.

  11. Miss Metropolis

    Hello from Miami Beach! It’s 80 degrees and sunny!

    No guttersluts in sight.

    There was, however, a very attractive man sitting beside me on the plane.

    Will do an in-depth report soon … after brunch and bikini shopping. Looks like the weather will be nice tomorrow and I forgot my suit!

  12. sassy secretary

    Hey Kelly Ann, if you are tying to make us jealous, it’s not working. We know what a pathetic person you are. You post on here to vent your bitterness and have proven to show how immature, tasteless, CRAZY and deep-down ugly person you are. Why are you so bitter lately? You must be very lonely to actually take the time to write such horrible things.

    Is it because you are an outcast in the DC scene that you so loved and showed off about? That everyone hates you and thinks you are a lying, self-promoting, shady ho who uses everyone?

    That when you look in the mirror not only can you see an empty person who is so sad and lonely that the only friend you have is a crooked nose. Did they allow you to play ice hockey in West Virginia?

    That your ex slept with a Playmate who dances at Scores on his trip up to New York last weekend? A dream cum true for most men.

    That you will have to spend and extra $100 on a special bikini to make your your chest not look like an 11 year old boys? It’s nice going to VS and not having to buy push up bras. Or do you shop in the teens section where they have the training bras?

    That everyone knows you are a fake and a poser yourself? We can’t believe you wrote about posers, it’s so pathetic that we almost feel bad for you because you are the ultimate poser. Miss I’m a socialite, but really still have coal dust in my ears. You must be hurting inside to go out of your way to write such stupid things. yourself. We know you like attention, but do you really want all this BAD attention? Do you really need it that bad? I guess you do, you started your own website declaring how cool you are while you ran around with your friends, who are much prettier that you by the way.

    That you are 31 and not married, weren’t you going to get married to the ex? I guess he woke up and smelled your dirty vagina and hit the road.

    We don’t care what you do in Miami, stay down there, please, you belong there with all the trashy fake girls who have their axes and pics out searching for gold. We don’t live off of our men, we have jobs and buy pay our rent. Something you have managed to mess up everytime Miss Forever to be Spinster.

  13. Liz

    “You can always count on Liz for profound comments that question your existence. Thanks for the input.”

    That’s what I’m here for. To provide you all with profound words of wisdom. HA.

    I’m sorry, I really can’t take a person who once said in their myspace profile that DJ Tiesto was their hero seriously. Thank you. Please drive thru.

    RR: I’m fucking drunk.

  14. Miss Metropolis Post author

    Sassy:

    What is so horrible about my posts? LOL — ease up. This is supposed to be a fun site.

    I know nice housewives and secretaries. Hell, my mom is a housewife.

    Ever heard of taking the extreme view? Humor? There is no middle ground in a DCB post. It’s black and white on this site.

    I have nothing against admin people. They play an important role in the survival of any company. They’re essential!!! Vital!!

    I love my secretary. She makes the best coffee.

    MM

  15. Daniel Goldman

    “I guess this must be what most secretaries and housewives do all day ? chew gum, eat Krispy Kreme donuts, talk to friends, post to blogs.” -MM

    “Hell, my mom is a housewife. I love my secretary. She makes the best coffee.” -MM

    ..so does this mean your mother chews gum & eats Krispy Kremes all day while reading your sorry ass comments on other people’s blogs.

    Don’t you learn from your mistakes?

    “Some people are really stupid. I, on the other hand, am not.” -MM

    For a self-proclaimed “genius” – you sound insecure.

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