Ladies: Hi. and Gentlemen: Hello.

I’m DCB’s new intern. I can only hope to bring you an ounce of the doubtless pounds of joy he gives your lives. Oh, and haters? To you, I say, brang it.

I’ll be picking the week’s top coolest stuff – links, videos, etc. – so you can win the respect of your peers when you send a hilarious video or reference some totally hot piece of gossip. Don’t pretend like you’re above pop culture; embrace it.

MySpace: the Movie. Amusing, if a bit long. The opening sequence slays me!

A parody of the O.C., which yes I will admit I still watch (but mainly for the outfits!). So hysterical. Also, is everyone as obsessed with YouTube as I am?

411 is lame, and if you’re not using Google SMS by now, you should be.

An interesting article (that I’m sure DCB will love) from Slate about how women who stay at home, rather than working, are happier. So… if it makes you happy to work, work, and if it makes you happy to stay home, stay home, and shut up already.

One of the best Gawker quotes ever: “Teri Hatcher never had to testify against her uncle who sexually abused her, so why would she come forward and spill the story to Vanity Fair, apropos nothing? Because of George Clooney, that?s why! Captain Sexy gave Hatcher the fuck-n-run, and she had no choice but to go to VF with an unrelated, attention-grabbing story. Don?t we all deal with break-ups like that?”

He hopes Britney isn’t pregnant again, but I do! Famous people who also happen to be batshit loony are the best.

And finally, DCB (a.k.a. The Boss) gets to launch a polemic against the Academy. And you know what? He’s justified. When I watched the movie on my Netflix, it was a total letdown. Best part is when Terrence Howard shows Luda what’s what.

If you’re wondering why there’s nothing from local DC blogs on this list, I’ll tell you: nothing really struck my fancy. Game on, bloggers!

22 thoughts on “I’M THE INTERN

  1. drone

    If DCB has taught me nothing else, it’s that a post by a new female intern is going to be useless without pics…

  2. O-face

    Its bad enough our jobs are getting outsourced, but now freelance blogging too???? But welcome I look forward to (staring at your posterior) reading what you have to say. Can you believe I got fired from my last job for sexual harassment???

  3. Kathryn

    Hm. I must have misunderstood. I thought you were to compile the best of DCB this week? This is a’ight, but not what people come here to see. Maybe that’s the point?


  4. DCB

    Kathryn: there is no point in doing a best of dcb because everything i do is best-worthy

    Captain: You have the absolute worst blog in dc. People come to me specifically to make fun of YOUR shitty blog. In one post, Sally has surpassed your entire blog archive in humor and orginality. Please go away… your opinion is meaningless.

  5. Hideki Tojo

    What a thoroughly underwhelming debut.

    “Hi, I’m an edgy pseudo-power-woman, and I’m gonna rollerskate into the blog scene on DCB’s nuts, small though they may be.”

    Congrats! You’re the internet equivilant to a double-A baseball groupie. Maybe you can work your way up to Tucker Max’s 4th string.

    No one cares about Google SMS. Please distinguish yourself as something other than an overconfident 23 year old cocktease and write something worth reading.

  6. Andy

    I appreciated your videos, all these haters just need to remind themselves that you’re only an intern.

  7. jessa j

    umm… The Ultimate “O.C.” Spoof! was horrific. i didn’t even crack a smile. i mean, really heinous.

    but seriously Sally – keep on keep keepin’ on – you’ll find your blogging niche in due time.

    HATERZ: Ye have little Faith.

  8. Jinxy

    Hideki Tojo’s comments are pretty funny.

    It was also pretty funny when the U.S. hung his ass.

    See if you can find a video of that, Sally.

  9. caroline

    I agree that this is a weak introduction (who doesn’t know about Google SMS by now?), but the article she referenced is interesting and could be the topic of a highly debated post.

    I, for one, am not surprised by the discovery that women are happier at home than in the workplace. All other things being equal, who wouldn’t prefer to stay at home than wake up early, put on a hideous suit with shoulder pads, endure a long commute, and then sit in an office all day? Preparing meals and running errands is more enjoyable than most careers, especially the unfulfilling kind sought after by femminist types. Housecleaning can be tedious, but it sure beats staring at a computer screen in a windowless office for 10 hours a day.

    The problem is that modern, progressive society looks down on housewives, even those who have young children to take care of. And when there are so many options and opportunities, women are reluctant to set their skills and talents aside and resign themselves to the home. While I secretely would rather be in the kitchen baking scones, I’m not about to let my engineering degree go to waste by marrying someone and becoming a housewife. And the lure of being financially independent (and having more money between the husband and wife) is too great for most women to pass up.

    Consequently, the quality of life has gone down for women, who feel like they’re wasting their lives if they don’t get out there and work alongside men. And now the men are getting smart and realizing they don’t have to work as much, while still letting women do the household chores. I’m glad the femminist movement happened, but it really screwed us over in a lot of ways.

  10. Matt

    Good variety here, I like the idea of giving a best of for the week. The videos were ok, the articles pretty good.

    What the haters are expecting is a DCB equivalent, which is not going to happen, nor should we want it too. Sally’s contributions will be a nice diversion and will free up DCB a bit.

    As for housewives, I see the trend returning, that is if the economy is able to support single income households. But like someone said above, who wouldnt like to stay home and cook, play with the kids, and do other fun stuff. I know my girl is much happier when she is home. Stop hating on the housewife, the world would be a better place with more of them.

  11. Bob Roth

    4INFO (shortcode 44636) has a similar mobile search text message offering, but provides several additional services that Google does not: sports scores (“lakers” “duke”), fantasy stats (“kobe bryant” “jaromir jagr”), flight times (“swa san jose san diego”) and a beta version of mobile download search. All these services can be accessed via SMS (44636), WAP at http://wap.4INFO.net , or at http://www.4INFO.net.

    Why 4INFO instead of Google?
    ?When asked recently for the address of a trendy downtown Manhattan club called Butter, both 4INFO and Yahoo! located it on the first try. But Google sent back results better suited to baking.?
    – Wendy Widman, Forbes.com. 8/3/2005

  12. Charlotte

    I’m an undercover friend of Sally and let me tell you she has the ass to back up her blogging credentials. Unsurprising that DC blog commenters just like to complain though.

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