We all get 52 weekends a year to make our lives exciting and interesting. And what do we do? We fuck it up by drinking and “going out.” This weekend I drank and went out, only because I’m not creative enough to come up with something exciting or interesting.

Hater Eugenious and I spent some quality time together this weekend, first hitting up a small house party in Bethesda on Friday night. The host did such an excellent job with the alcohol and food that I made sure to volunteer in the kitchen, helping prepare the bite-sized quiche pieces that were the party favorite. I was watching them cook in the oven when a guest asked me how I knew when they were done. Not one to pass up an opportunity for a cocky moment, I point to my eye and say “My eyes.” He was so impressed that he asked if I was a chef. :laugh:

Can you spot the lime that feels insecure about its weight?

Like every other party I’ve ever been to in my life, this gathering was a sausage fest with guys inexperienced enough to practice the “desperate swarm move.” It happens when there are only one or two really cute girls in the room. At least two guys decide to hit on one girl at the same time, cockblocking each other while giving the girl an unlimited amount of attention.

Here’s a three on one:

I have accepted that the only time I will attend a party with more girls than guys is if I crash a baby shower.

Eugenious then strong-armed me into going to a Russian party at Bangkok One in DC, a Thai restaurant. If you were me you’d start wondering why there is a Russian party at an Asian hole-in-the-wall, but then you see a lot of people having a good time and realize you think too much. It was amazing that almost every Russian girl there was very thin. I don’t want to say who threw the party because some of you guys will crash the next one and ruin it for me. Even the ghetto bathroom didn’t bring me down:

I’m surprised they spelled bathroom right.

On Saturday we first stop at Topaz, now the haters official bar, where we gave a Pittsburgh architect tourist our jaded view of the city. Then to McFaddens, a place I can stand for about one hour per year. For a guy who can get into the “hottest” clubs for free, paying their $5 cover charge was degrading.

Dim lighting forever!

I went for a group ride on Sunday with about 24 other riders around Annapolis, MD. Unfortunately three riders went down, changing the goal of the trip from having fun to not crashing. There were no serious injuries.

Scene of the first crash.

We ended up in North Beach, MD.

The twilight zone moment of the weekend came on Friday night. A girl I barely knew – and whose name I forgot – was relaxing on an exotic chair. I thought it would make a nice picture so I take one. Then she says, “Just don’t put it on your site.” :whoa: Apparently I’m making the e-mail rounds.

11 thoughts on “LIMEY WEEKEND

  1. Marc

    Holy crap. Comedy gold:

    “I have accepted that the only time I will attend a party with more girls than guys is if I crash a baby shower”


  2. DCB Post author

    The route was nice but we stopped so many times that we never got into a good groove. It seems like unless it’s a small group, the main goal is to just hang out with other riders.

  3. inSOMnia

    the pic of the girl demonstrates how cock swarm girls at party. One girl ugly or not gets like three guys around her like bees on honey its a darn shame

  4. mass

    OK — that party picture showed three guys and three girls. It’s a little blurry, but the two who are being ignored don’t look any worse than the one being showered with attention. I am noticing that the three guys and the girl they’re chatting up are all wearing white tops. I’m also noticing that the guy on the bench/sofa is barely holding his piss in, while the guy on the chair is positioning himself for full pelvic exposure.

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