May sure brings out a lot of haters.
Hater No 1:
Let’s start with this blog called Drink Yer Oil (typical boring blog). The author has a massive write-up about me and the haters, including a commentary on Insomnia’s Pizza Day story (the most unintentionally funny thing you will read on this site). Just skim his whiny intro until he starts talking about us.
So you see kids, this is the kind of thing that is endemic to D.C. nightlife which is why I hang primarily with the retards at the local bar. At least those dopes are self-actualized about the fact that they’re massive losers that no woman would want to spend time with and pretty much keep to themselves.
Nothing says ‘keepin’ it real’ than hanging with Star Wars fans at the local watering hole. All uniteresting bloggers should take note: you don’t exist until you talk about us.
Here is the Pizza Day story with misspellings, block text format, and grammatical errors preserved:
Pizza Day by INSOMNIA… Alright this is a good one. Monday night I bought myself a pizza for dinner and come home to dine. I have a slice and then run off to the gym. I come back and its gone. Turns out my brother thought my dad bought it (which my father never shops at jerrys only pizza hut) and ate the entire thing. I let that one slide and said don’t let it happen again. Wensday I bought a pizza for my dad and I, and one for my dinner on Thursday night. On wensday night I called my brother and told him, “Sean I am buying this pizza for my dinner tomorrow so don’t go off eating it again this is my dinner”. I also told my father that the other pizza would be my dinner for the next day. Thursday afternoon I called my brother and told him not to eat my dinner for the second time. So anyhow I get off of work and come home. WAIT!!!…My pizza isn’t there. I ask my father “have u seen my pizza?”. His response, “I don’t know where it is”. I notice an empty pizza box with no fucking pizza!!! I am furious at this point. Called my brother and cussed him out. His first response “I didn’t know it was ur pizza”…Bullshit!!!After telling him?..Then a few minutes pass and more cussing…”Dad told me I could eat it” . That’s right Mr, “I don’t know where it is”. I went off on both of them. I started to kick things off the floor and cussed both of them out. They said I was being childish!! Well fuck them. Anyhow I am right, its rude and disrespectful to do that shit
Hater No 2:
DCBachelor stresses the need to develop a “sexual gimmick.” We (there you go with the we again) were able to surmise from this picture, elsewhere on his blog, what DCB’s is–you can see the well-worn crevasse where he brutalized this banana bread with his cock. Kinda like a wet sponge indeed. And the “synergistic ingredient”, he says, were his walnuts! Mmmm. Cracky, dampen goodness!
Hater No 3:
We end this hater round-up with anonymous hate mail. The author took some time to structure it well, saving his best material (CAPS and exclamation points) for the end.
Too all the fucking losers who are apart of this site. I feel bad for men who spend there time talking about their lack of straight pussy. As many say, the internet, and for that matter computers are for pedophiles and nerds. Seeing as how you guys are neither I figure I should make a new category: fucking desperate losers. You can defend what you do as cool, but ultimately, you are un-collar popped, never had sex, masturbate to my father’s old granny porn losers. You guys give the term bachelor a bad name. I feel bad people like you exist, but I suppose when you are a desperate man who can only score pussy from slampigs who would putout for a donkey, it figures; you are all fucking jackasses who are going to die lonely. LONELY. And you can justify your existence only by other men.. sweet you suck. I suppose if I wasn’t successful, i.e. had money and got laid I could join you group, but then I’d have to be a complete ass fucker and give up my pride and dick. YOU GUYS SUCK DICK! Unfortunately for you “men” you are sad.. Just sad. Just do what you want, ultimately, I’ll end up with trophy wife and you’ll end up with some sad chick who sarges men. I suppose those women are meant for you, even though I’ll be pissed this means you will carry on the human race of utter fucking stupidity and sadness. ALL OF YOU ARE FUCKING SAD AND NEED TO GET A FUCKING LIFE! LOSERS!YOU ARE ALL FUCKING LOSERS AND THE SAD THING IS THAT YOU KNOW YOU ARE, AND TRY TO JUSTIFY YOU EXISTENCE.. GET A JOB! EARN SOME MONEY!AND THEN COME TALK TO ME! OH YAH INCASE YOU CHICKS THINK YOU ARE BETTER THEN ME IN ANY WAY YOU AREN’T CAUSE WHILE YOU SIT AT HOME IN YOUR MOTHER’S ATTIC NEXT YEAR JACKING OFF TO PORNO, I’LL BE EARNING ,000 OUT OF COLLEGE AND BANGING MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND!YOU GOD DAMN PATHETIC LOSERS GET A LIFE!
What’s worse, you all will get pissed this email was ever written, where as I just did it to get you pissed off and to bring the utter truth to you. Sorry you had to hear if from me. Enjoy your lives.
We’re flattered this person took time out of his busy money/sex lifestyle to write. He had a lot of cliche hating (‘can’t get laid’, ‘live in the attic/basement’) but otherwise his effort was sincere. :thumbup: