I finally have figured it out. I want an 18 year old girl with a perfect body and at least an okay face. I will treat her like the princess she thinks she is. She will be mine during the physical prime of her life, a period that no other man can get from her… ever. After three years I will dump her and go on myspace to find another 18 year old. The process would only take 10 minutes as I just have to pretend to like the trendy song she put in her profile, using capital letters and exclamation points to stress our deep common bond.
As I get old, fat, and balding, I will actually be very happy to be with such a young, nubile women who have the ever-so-perfect amount of baby fat that comes without even going to the gym. Sure she will be immature and stupid, but why do people value intelligence in their partner anyway? I can get that from my friends. Instead she will offer me excitement, and the validation that I am still desirable. And then when I get so old that I can’t even get it up, I will find a nice old lady at the nursing home to share my last days with. I get the best of both worlds: sex with fertile women and the comfort of an elderly partnership. Why own when you can afford to lease?
It’s hard for my female readers to identify with this post unless I use a visual aid. Now pretend you are a 26 year old man… which would you prefer:
Hot, stylish 18 year old…