On the heels of my funny t-shirt retirement, I have decided that the Morning Wood legacy should continue. The experiment to show that I can still pull with an adolescent t-shirt has ended, and I have nothing more to prove with this fine piece of clothing. The legacy includes:

– Getting approached numerous times by girls, including one memorable night where the hottest girl in a mega-club fell for my sense of humor that the shirt helped transcend.

– A few subtle black tar stains from playing with some dirty traffic cones while heavily intoxicated.

– Having intimate relations with a girl I met while wearing the shirt, and then her remembering the shirt on a certain morning after.

To allow the Morning Wood legacy to continue, I’m going to mail this shirt to a male reader. He will add to the legacy, keeping me updated with how the shirt is bettering his life, and then he’ll give it back to me in a year so I can send it to someone else. If you want the shirt (size large), simply post a comment on how you will serve the legacy. Popcorn players please apply, for I will be hesitant to give the shirt to a Dungeons and Dragons basement geek.


  1. JOSH

    I would ask you for the shirt, but it will be so covered in the juices of the females i encounter, that when i return it to you it may have become unusable.

  2. vb

    “including one memorable night where the hottest girl in a mega-club fell for my sense of humor that the shirt helped transcend” – i remember that night. she was definitely the hottest girl we have ever seen in that club.

  3. Eric

    I could give the Morning Wood shirt a good home. For one, I only hit on girls under the age of 18, so the humor won’t be lost on any of my targets. Second, I need something to replace the “A Handsome Man is his Own Best Friend” shirt that I recently ripped. Third, I look amazing in yellow 🙂

  4. The Senator

    Greetings from Sudamericana!

    Please give me the T-shirt. I will use it to attract the ladies. I mean, I’ll add it to my routine of using smoove jazz and weak cliches to attract the ladies.

    I cry at night.

  5. The Senator

    I forgot…can the T-shirt be stained with your man juice, please? It will help me concentrate in the morning.

  6. Sudamericana (the real one)

    I still cannot recover from the fact that of all the nicknames he could have picked, the Senator had to choose mine… and worse, that people still link that name to him.

    Can I have the carebear t-shirt so that I feel a little bit better? Please…

  7. Andy

    Hook me up. I will school all these people in Rochester on what a funny t-shirt is supposed to be.

    If I only had a nickel for everytime I saw a shirt that says “I listen to the voices in my head” around here.

    I will continue the legacy of drunkeness and late-night craziness.

  8. DCB Post author

    Okay this was a tough decision.

    3rd place: Kathryn. Sorry, no girls. You’d use it as shirt to sleep in or something.

    2nd place: JP and Andy. Both long-time readers, both great guys.. BUT I know you too well. You lose cause you know me.

    1st place: Eric. Cocky and probably a ball-buster of women, I can see him serving the legacy well.

    Eric, hit me up at dcb @

  9. fanman

    You should let me test out the 100% huggable shirt… I wanted it ever since I saw it featured in Maxim but could never find it online. :sad2:

  10. Kathryn

    Big mistake, DCB. Can you imagine the play I would get by filling that shirt with my bountiful bosom? Camp Morningwood, indeed!

    sooooooooooooooooo kidding

  11. J.P.

    Damn. It’s the girlfriend thing isn’t it? Well– Eric, I call first in line for the next host of “Morning Wood”. In the mean time, do the shirt justice.

  12. Sherri

    You guys can be the Brotherhood of the Travelling T-shirt! (get it? like the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, heh heh!)

  13. Miss Penny Lane

    Morning Wood is the best shirt to salvage for sure. I used to manage the Urban in Chinablock, and I always wondered about the straight fellas who bought the “virgin” t-shirt. As you can imagine, I have a HUGE collection of the graphic tees from Urban. By next spring, I am sure I will have to retire some of them, too. (“Everyone Loves A Jewish Girl” doesn’t exactly draw a lot of positive attention…)

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