I don’t think you girls know what it takes for me or any other decent man to go into a bar or club and take care of business. Maybe because we make it look easy. You evaluate us quickly, concluding that we are “cool” or “funny” or “intelligent,” but you don’t realize how much it took for us to get there. Years of practice, rejection, and experimenting, all for you to realize in that one moment that you are attracted.
It takes a lot of mental energy for me to approach and properly game a girl I don’t know. Any drunk loser can spit some stupid shit to a girl at a club, but to walk up to a girl, like a man, and show your personality, everything that you are, in a meaningful conversation through all these distractions… well, that ain’t easy. It takes a huge amount of mental energy — after an hour or two of constant game I need a chair to sit in. You get tired like you would playing sports.
I’m not talking to you here in the club just to talk to you, just to shoot the shit. It’s very nice that you think I’m funny and interesting, but that really doesn’t do it for me like, say, digits that lead to something fun. Our conversation is just a means to an end. You should know that. So for the love of God, do not engage me for an hour when you have a boyfriend. Do you not understand how much you’ve wasted my time? If I’m at a club for two hours, our one hour conversation (where you didn’t mentioned your boyfriend until the end) took away 50% of my valuable macking time. And now I have less energy to go hit on the next girl. You ruined my night.
If you have a boyfriend or fiance, STAY THE FUCK HOME. Why are you out? You must realize you will get attention from guys like me dressed that way. Does your boyfriend, who I’m sure you are madly in love with, know you are flirting with me looking the way you look? Or is he around and getting a kick out of the fact that other men want to have sex with you? Do you need validation that badly? You have potentially deprived a single woman of meeting her dream guy. Women… always selfish.
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I can’t tell you how many drinks my married friend gets when we go out. If you don’t have the good sense to notice the 1.5 carat diamond on her left hand, it’s your own fault. Anyways, I’m mostly out because I want to dance.
Common courtesy women: if you have a boyfriend and a guy is macking on you, mention the boyfriend in the first five minutes. Flipside: men, if you’re talking to a woman and she mentions she has a boyfriend, don’t instantaneously scurry away like you just found out she has VD. Two reasons. One, it’s not polite. Two, she might have hot single friends.
DCB this weekend = validation stamp
Hey same goes for guys too. I can’t even begin to count the times guys haven’t brought up their girlfriends.
There have been several occasions upon which when a guy was talking to me at a bar, and I mentioned my bf, he got super annoyed. He got all huffy and looked pissed off. What’s the deal? I mention the bf pretty early on, and I don’t think I send any wrong signals.
What I wanted to say was, “I’m doing you a favor buddy! I don’t want to scream over this loud music any more than you want to talk to me for no reward, so here’s the deal.” :huh:
Just started reading your blog. Awesome. More power to you!
Right on–not everyone is wearing a 2-carat piece of bling on their left hand, so it’s nice to know up front who’s available and who’s not. I’m not sure “stay the fuck home” is the right response, but it’s certainly reasonable to expect the BF/GF factor to be mentioned within the first few minutes of an encounter. Great post.
Yeah, don’t know about the stay the fuck home thing…you can’t expect people to stop socializing with friends just because they are in a relationship. However, I do agree with working the s/o into the conversation within minutes of talking. Don’t waste someone’s time for your own ego-validating needs.
Maybe there should be special bars for married people. A nice quiet environment where they can talk about china patterns and mortgages. The bars would close at midnight, of course, since that’s when married people go home and have lame sex.
I agree with a lot of the posters and with DCB. I mean, dont be taking drinks from single guys and flirting back when you have a husband or you are in a serious relationship BUT also staying home is worthless. When I had a boyfriend I would say it off the bat…and I also go out soley to dance and have fun with the girls…maybe this post is more accurate for younger girls looking for guys to make them feel better about themselves and thats why THEY go out…
I’m married and I go out almost every weekend….guys talk to me AS I am flaunting my semi-giant (2 ct) ring… if guys are dumb enough to not look at a girl’s hand as the FIRST thing when they are talking to someone that’s their problem not mine. Am I supposed to stay home and knit b/c I am married now? I don’t think so…
Besides if all you are looking for is a quick lay, aren’t girls w/ boyfriends the easiest ones? I thought you were all about love em and leave em, so who cares if they have a significant other? Just a thought…
No, I think it can be directed to gals of all ages really. I only say that because I have some friends who are taken in one way or another, but act like whores from time to time when they go out. These are late 20 something/30 something girls, too. They flirt all night, have men (or women) by them drinks, and then take the guy or girl’s number at the end of the night with no intention of ever calling. When the next day rolls around and they are in a sober state, I usually hear how they kind of feel bad because he/she seemed really nice.
Per usual, DCB is onto something, but it should really be taken further. It’s not just people in relationships/married (cause they cheat), it’s anyone who won’t give it up. So if you go out, you cannot talk to anyone unless you are willing to sleep with them. This will really cut down on wasting time by talking who won’t let you lay some pipe.
While it’s true that girls should mention the BF to avoid confusion, I think DCB has it a bit wrong when saying they should stay home in the first place…what, does he stay home like a hermit when he has a girl? Oh, wait, that’s right, if he had a girl he wouldn’t need to spend so much time writing his blog! 😉
This is why I support branding. No burn, take your turn.
Girls if a group of guys come up to you and your friends. The guy with the serious girlfriend is always the one that?s flirting with your fat friend. You know the girl you bring out with you just to make yourselves feel that much better because no matter what you can always say well at least I?m not fat like her (and don?t even act like that?s not what you girls do). Well according to article 70-1 of the wingman hand book. The guy with a serious girlfriend by default has to (jump on the grenade) and holla at the fat chick in the group.
DCB and hour to holla? We need to talk about time management. After ten minutes it?s ?ma, are we fucking or not?
TEP-I have been pulling for those bracelets that high school kids use at parties to be used in public on adults for the past couple of years. How perfect would it be if you had a guy or girl walk up to you and you knew his/her status by their bracelet. Different colored ribbons to signify “will fuck”, “will give head”, “will accept head”, “will only kiss”, “has a boyfriend/girlfriend”, “no interest in anything sexual”, “loves orgies”…etc.
Life would be a piece of cake.
Would work, but the moochers would just wear a false bracelet anyways…So doesn’t solve the moocher problem.
KassyK, that reminds me of the old hanky code from 70’s gay culture. Last time I was at Black Cat for a show, one of the bartenders was wearing this egregious red handkerchief around his neck, and every time I looked over, I couldn’t help laughing and wondering whether he was into fisting.
Instead of mentioning a boyfriend/significant other in the first 5 minutes, I’m just going to let it drop that I’m not into ugly people. My middle initial is ‘C’… for Courteous.
Anon., 2 carats is standard, not semi-giant.
“So for the love of God, do not engage me for an hour when you have a boyfriend. Do you not understand how much you?ve wasted my time?”
This is one of my pet peeves about meeting women. I’ve had women even give me their digits and then later tell me they had a boyfriend! I jokingly ask them if they’re looking for an upgrade, and when they say no (they always say “no” – and thats what I want), then I go “then why did you give me your number, go on this date with me, and waste our time?” She starts stuttering and stammering…
One woman a year ago has propositioned me despite the fact that she has a boyfriend… and I know who her boyfriend is. I turned her down.
Sorry honey, I thought you already knew I had a boyfriend…
What are China patterns?
I agree that its just common curtesy to let somebody know up front if you have a bf/gf. It’s not just at bars, but in all social situations as well. What do you do though if you know somebody has a girlfriend but they shamelessly flirt with you anyway and NEVER talk to you about their girlfriend?
Also, a word to the guys- if you do talk to a girl and she refuses to go home with you but gives you her number, don’t be a dick about it. Once I had a guy rip my number up in my face when I wouldn’t go home with him! I have a ton of other single girlfriends that all know this guy through “friends-of-friends-of-friends”, and I told all of them about it. So this guy should NOT be surprised that he never gets any play…
Maybe she’s down wit O.P.P. but you didn’t let her give you a chance. I mean, if all it is is a notch, what difference does it make if she’s got a boyfriend? Or maybe it’s you looking for more than that again…
Come on people… girls with boyfriends take at least twice as much work to get in bed. Most likely wont be worth it
DCB – I don’t think it is always the case that a girl with a boyfriend is harder to lay. Sometimes that just means you only have to be better than one person.
That being said there are plenty of single girls out there and going after somebody that is involved ups the bullshit.
?I have a boyfriend? can mean various things.
1. a shit test.
2. an auto response.
3. she?s not attracted to you.
4. she DOES have a boyfriend and isn?t interested. (but thanks for the validation)
5. she may or may not have a boyfriend; however, she might be interested in fucking you as long as you don?t get too emotional about it.
Even when you get sex out of it, sarging a chick is hardly ever worth the time, effort, money, or mental stamina.
I, for one, would RATHER game ?taken? chicks for sex since I already have MLTRs for companionship and find value in my MLTRs besides their beauty and sexual skills.
Chicks with borefriends are GREAT for sex. She already has a financier/emotional sponge, so, you don?t have to buy her shit, take her out, listen to her ?chick rants?…that?s what her BOREFRIEND is for…and you get all her whorish hot sex.
OTOH, if you are out screening for possible LTRs/MLTRs, I say, good luck at progressing through the maze of status-driven, validation-seeking cunts. That shit is BRUTAL. 😐
Cock Diesel: You’ve read “The Game” by Neil Strauss one too many times.
Cock Diesel: You?ve read ?The Game? by Neil Strauss one too many times.
No, I was posting on ASF in the 90?s. ?The Game? is just regurgitated shit from that newsgroup.
Virtually all the major early contributors are all peddling ebooks or other Internet products somewhere across the net.
I am sick of n00bs referencing that book.
Yeah, ok ladies, keep pretending that marriage/relationships are sacred institutions, or that chicks with rings don’t go out to bars and take dudes home. The statistical probability that none of you have cheated on your boyfriends and/or pulled a “I never do this sort of thing!!” is outrageously improbable, so drop the act.
If a guy’s a playah he’ll cue off of actions, not words, and take that lil skeezer back to his apartment and give her a solid rogering. The next morning after round 4 he can listen to her blather on about her boyfriend while he recharges his batteries for round 5. “Uuh huh.. Ok… He did? Wow. And then what did you say? Seriously? Wow. No way he did that.”
Don’t feel bad if you don’t have that “it” factor – that aura that brings out a girl’s inner whore. Most people don’t. Just don’t expect results while attempting to occupy a niche that’s out of your league.
“Sorry honey, I thought you already knew I had a boyfriend?”
Nope… never told me that. tsk tsk…
“Chicks with borefriends are GREAT for sex. She already has a financier/emotional sponge, so, you don?t have to buy her shit, take her out, listen to her ?chick rants??that?s what her BOREFRIEND is for?and you get all her whorish hot sex.”
Heh… sounds lovely in theory. But there’s one little problem with that here… see what the girl is doing by letting you in her pants while she has a boyfriend?
She’s getting double the attention, and you and the bf are getting only half. She’s playing you both as suckers. I refuse to allow myself into that position… why get half the attention from a taken woman when I can get full and undivided attention from a single woman?
?She?s getting double the attention, and you and the bf are getting only half. She?s playing you both as suckers. I refuse to allow myself into that position? why get half the attention from a taken woman when I can get full and undivided attention from a single woman??
Again, read my post more carefully. Companionship is for my MLTRs (Multiple Long-Term Relationships).
To answer your question, my ?attention? or time hierarchy is as follows:
1. Work, buddies, social events, hobbies.
2. My primary MLTR
3. My secondary MLTR
4. Booty Calls
Like I said, I don?t care what ?booty call? does in her free time. The amount of attention I give ?booty call? is the same amount of time it takes me to blow a warm wad of goo in her ass.
These are just my preferences and what makes me happy personally.
I’m with Sally on this one. Remember this the next time a girl shoots you down right away. Before you call her a bitch, realize that at least she is being considerate enough to let you know it’s not gonna happen with her, so you can continue the notch expedition elsewhere in a timely fashion.
Cock Diesel…….If i was a writer I would fill up the whole book with your comments…..fucken great read……
cock diesel, you want booty calls… sure, knock yourself out 😉
as for MLTRs… that’s risky business. do you actually tell your “MLTR” girlfriends that you are having OTHER MLTRs and does she, smiling, go “that’s fine and dandy with me!”? Or do you just cheat on other women and pretend that it’s all MLTRs and that makes it okay?
Or she might actually reluctantly agree to this, and then later try to get you to dump your other MLTRs and when you don’t she gets pissed and dumps you instead.
Let’s test the MLTR theory right here. Any women on here willing to date a guy who flat out tells you that he’s gonna be fucking other women, please raise your hand?
No, I haven?t promised monogamy to ANYBODY.
Secondary MLTR knows about Primary MLTR, and she is ok with it for now, even though sooner or later I think she will angle for monogamy.
Primary MLTR has no idea about Secondary MLTR; however, primary MLTR does engage in physical relationships with other females. (so why can?t I?) hehe. :eviler:
Nabeel, you are right though, tiz risky and I would hate to lose a MLTR and either one would be VERY HARD to replace.
Maybe women go out for their own pleasure, to socialize with friends, drink, listen to music, etc., and their existences (whether they are in a relationship or not) have a purpose other than to provide you with sex. I’m just saying…it’s a possibility.
PS: DCB, why are YOU out now that you have Judy, your ideal woman? Now that you have a slippery hole to stick your penis in whenever you want and don’t have to spend money on drinks or dinner why would you ever leave your house in search of satisfaction again?
so KassyK and I were talkin’ tonight and your name came up. Seems you play a part in the thought that dating might be one of the stupidest rituals humans still put themselves through.
The absolute show that a person puts on. May it be just for a free meal (Ladies, you know who you are and you can just burn burn burn) or because you liked the book they were reading and you had a bit of the quick-wit for 10 minutes over coffee, the person they meet is Not the person they’ll come to know.
I think Match.cum and Jewdate have their place in this world of “dating” but that just seems for either lazy shits, gut-less wonders, the married, the desperate, …hell, seems like damn near anybody huh?
Whatever. DCB, I salute you. That’s it
btw, I got no problem with married people going out. Even looking hot or whatever, but!
a. Know you’re gonna get hit on, so if somebody does it, don’t act like the person who came up to you is some jerkoff. Take it as a compliment (holiday, ya stuck up….)
b. More importantly, wtf does going out have to be about hooking up or getting laid or meeting the one or whatever the fuck people do when they go to these jam-packed hot-as-balls danceclubs where ya couldn’t have a decent conversation if you wanted to?
There has to be a better way. Girls, grab the guys package if you like him. He’ll either say girlfriend or go with you. It’s that easy.
Girls, …..I got no advice. Maybe stayin home is the best advice or go to your private “hot girl” parties cause most guys, married, girlfriend, whatever, are gonna at least give you the once over and if ya can’t live with that….You’re the one that needs to see a shrink
B-This whole post is about girls with boyfriends not being up front with guys when their at clubs. Unlike the taken, but unmarried girls, my married friend is wearing the evidence on her left hand. No need to get all defensive with her once you figure out that she is married.
DCB: “Married women stay the f*ck home because everything is about ME-ME-ME-ME and MY DICK.” (rolls eyes) Someday, when your “big” brain regains control of your little one, you’ll figure out that folks, married or single, interested in YOU or not, like to be in the public sphere meeting other humans for purposes other than breeding.
Hedonist, you little slut, suck it.
Listen. I know why you talk to me, I appreciate the mack but this ass isn?t on the market. I tell you fuckers within the first two minutes that I have a boyfriend. I even make it easy for you by saying “Not only do I have a boyfriend, I’m not going home with you. I’ll continue to talk to you but you are wasting your time on me.” I say this nicely and smile, and eight out of 10 men kindly wander off when they realize I am serious (minute or two). One of the two remaining will then introduce me to the other five of them who are there since it?s no longer competitive and after a while they all wonder off (which is fine). Then there?s the one in 10 that just doesn?t get it. He?ll ask ?So, where?s your boyfriend?? I answer (he works at the club) and this jojo continues for the next two hours to buy me drinks (I decline most of them because I get mine for free anyway), dance with me, talk with me, and even ask periodic questions about the boyfriend. I remind him I?m not going home with him and sometimes flat-out tell him to get lost. At the end of the night he?s really sore that I am not actually going home with him. Why would I lie about this?
if you think like this about women, imagine what women thing about you
Reposted from Craigslist (Giving credit where it’s due)……………
Jay?s Rules for Men and Internet Dating
(Don?t Let Them Waste Your Time and/or Money)
Regarding Females Posting Photos
1. If she does not post a photo, she is either hiding something (her looks), or she is just plain hideous?.RUN!
2. If she posts a photo of something other than herself(a sunset, a beach, a flower), then she is fat, ugly, both, or hiding a physical deformity.
3. If she posts ?artistic impressions? of her photo, i.e. drawings, etchings, paintings etc.?then she is fat, ugly, both, or hiding a physical deformity.
4. If she posts photos of her cats, dogs, kids etc., YOU will always be 3rd or lower on her priority list.
5. If her posted photos look as if they were taken at a night club, bar, restaurant, casino?.then she is an attention whore, and you will wear yourself out (and your wallet) trying to keep up with her and her ?social? events.
6. If her posted photos feature other men who have been ?Photoshopped? to hide their identity, then YOU will be among a cast of many men in her life, and she may be sleeping with all of them, or none.
7. If her posted photos suggest she is slightly overweight or plump, then she is FAT. If she had a better photo of herself, she would post it.
8. If her posted photo suggests that she is ?colorful?, ?wacky?, ?bohemian?, then she is just plain vanilla ?CRAZY?.
9. If her posted photo suggests that she has an ?exotic? look, then be aware of the following formula: Exotic + 10 years = Bizarre (cat lady bizarre)
10. If her posted photo suggests that she is a whore, then she is a whore, hit it and quit it fast.
What the words in her posts really mean
1. ?I look younger than I am? ? desperate female with a shelf life of about 5 more years. Pulling out all the stops (surgery, makeup, wigs, etc) to trick you into telling her how hot she is, or worse yet, to marry her .
2. ?Full of Life? ? Bipolar
3. ?BBW? ? Walrus
4. ?Large Framed? ? Walrus
5. ?Curvy? – Walrus
6. ?Happy with self? ? Unhappy with self
7. ?Loves Animals? ? Crazy cat collector, house smells like cat pee
8. ?Fun Loving? ? Manic
9. ?Disease Free? ? She went to the doctor to make sure
10. ?Fit? ? She joined a gym, but never uses it
11. ?I?m not looking for a father for my children? ? Maybe not, she just wants you to pay for them.
12. ?Looking for THE one? ? She does nothing but watch movies and believes in fairy tales. You will never live up to her expectations because they are make believe.
Holiday, you are full of shit, and you don’t even realize how stupid you sound. Any girl who says she is out to “dance” is a dufus. If you want to dance, you go to a dance class with your partner and learn to dance. Learn Ballroom or the Waltz or an actual DANCE.
Standing on a dance floor hoping to seek attention just so you can reject is not dancing, it’s being a modern western woman, which is not anything to boast about.
You are not a dancer – you are a buffoon. Real dancers dance with their partners! Besides, you just admitted you’re not dancing, you’re standing there getting free drinks.
Hot woman that are married or with a boyfriend that go to bars/clubs should be banned. If they attemtp to enter they should be beaten.
Yet another reason why I hate this pathetic excuse for a city. DCB, cock diesel, et al, you all are douches. Douches. DOUCHES. Don’t even bother flaming me and calling me a troll, because I’m not coming back; I’m just here to witness the trainwreck that is this blog.
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