I hate text messaging.

More accurately, I have a love-hate relationship with it. Why do people feel like texting can replace a phone call? It’s helpful often, but there are instances when just CALLING someone is going to get you way further than a text. And text messaging costs money!

Texting is the biggest friend of pussy-boys. It’s worse than e-mail, because with texting, it assumes you have a girl’s phone number, and you’re making a conscious choice not to actually use it. Instead, you’re going to try to get into a girl’s pants with a 31-character message. Guys, there’s nothing hotter! Except maybe the heating pad in my bed that I’m substituting for the warmth of your body, because you are NOT coming over. Texting does not equal sexting. :pissed:

Last Saturday night around 12:43 am, for example, I got a text message from this guy that I haven’t talked to in weeks – I’d already taken him out of my address book (burn!) because I didn’t feel like seeing his name any more. I even had to look up the number on my bill to make sure it was him. Sure enough, he wanted to know, “hey Sally, how are you?” I first pretended to throw my phone against the wall; then I indulged him for a little and responded. Finally, after not being able to determine what he wanted, I gave him the cold no-textback shoulder.

The lesson here? If you haven’t talked to someone for long enough than is reasonable to assume that they might still be interested, a text is not an acceptable form of communication – it’s a booty CALL, not a booty TEXT. Put your big-boy underpants on, and if you’ve established that your respondent is, indeed, awake and alive, call them. Because I don’t want to waste my media package on you.


  1. Anonymous

    Last year I met a British guy and gave him my number. He texted me a few times before meeting up, but he never called. I think it’s because texting is cheaper than phoning in the UK so it’s the standard, but also he was shy and maybe too nervous to talk on the phone. But if he had just called me he would have impressed me more and frustrated me less.

  2. michelle

    I used to hate text messaging, but then I bought the package 🙂

    I don’t mind if it’s just a text here and there or something like “Go Mason!” but when it comes to the point where you’re trying to hold a full out conversation via text instead of actually calling someone, you’ve got issues.

  3. Kathryn

    I used to feel that way about texting. I still think it’s mostly a crutch for gutless wonders. But I use it all the time now.

    And if you think there’s no such thing as sexting, I have some saved messages to show you.

  4. AUA

    “I still think it?s mostly a crutch for gutless wonders. But I use it all the time now.”


  5. V

    Nice post. Nothing like a black out fun Friday night and then reviewing your “sent messages” the next day…

  6. O-face

    I know your new and sh**, but this very subject was covered by DCB like a couple of months ago, no less than two. I’m not a dcb groupie, but I remeber this because of the emotional pain that hit my body when I read it. Might wannna read through the archives and catch up on the history so that your not running the same subjects over and over and over and over and over and over

  7. jessa j

    awesome post sally! but i do have a confession – after 4 drinks i bust out the phone amd type things like – “contents under pressure” and “do you like cheese?”

    friends don’t let friends drink and text.

  8. DCB

    O-face: While I have mentioned texting many times (you are probably thinking of this), I have not dedicated an entire post to it.

  9. RCR

    Texting is lame. If I get a text that merits a response, I’m calling you back. Life’s too short to waste time typing on a numeric keypad.

  10. B

    gotta say, my g/f and I keep in touch via text and only pay 7 bucks a month on Verizon. Everything is “IN” so it’s actually pretty sweet.

    she works in an office so her being on the phone all day wouldn’t swing, but with txt, we communicate all the time.

    btw, breaking up with some via text….who the fuck would wanna be with somebody that would Think about doing that anyway?! F em!

  11. Brutus

    Why wouldn’t you break up with some dumb bitch over text? There’s nothing more to say than “I’m done with you.” 18 characters.

  12. Dirk Jiggler

    Texting is amazing stuff, you tap some keys on your Blackberry and the next thing you know some hottie is over at your place. What’s wrong with that?

  13. nabeel

    yeah, come on people… technology has been making advances, so take advantage of the texting wonders! don’t be afraid, it’s not that bad! 😉

    but I would not break up with someone over text…

  14. Anonymous

    I text, not because I am gutless, but because I can send out messages to numerous suitors at once.

    Men love options.

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