1. Never say, “I’m not really looking for anything serious right now.” This line would have been killer a couple years ago, but we’ve played it out and girls know what it really means now.
2. Pay for your dates, but add “You can pay next time.” You don’t want her assuming it’s going to be a free ride.
3. Don’t give up so easily, especially in bed. Sure, no means no, until it turns into “Fuck me harder” not even thirty minutes later. Girls are scared of appearing too easy, so indulge in their little game for the five minutes or so it takes for the inner-slut comes out.
4. Wait for the green lights: don’t be Mr. Octopus. It’s pretty obvious when a girl wants you to take it to the next level. Until then, chill out and enjoy the date.
5. Never, EVER, blast inside a woman. I don’t care if she’s on the pill, sterile, whatever. Even if you are using a condom, ensure it’s still on before you orgasm. Don’t put your reproductive rights into her hands. Assume she’s not on the pill and won’t have an abortion.
6. Don’t be afraid to end a date early. Sometimes it just won’t work out and this girl is completely different than what you thought. Instead of wasting your time and money on her, excuse yourself politely and say that you need to go home to organize your porn collection.
7. Look nice, but not flashy. If you get a date with a girl, chances are she is very open to having sex with you. A date is just a test to see if you are going to say or do anything really stupid. Don’t wear anything that stands out, like your new AX cut-off muscle shirt with huge cross necklace.
8. Read between the lines. A girl is going to be very subtle when she wants you to give it to her. For instance in this phrase pair, which one means “You are a loser” and which one one means “I want to have sex with you”: “I’m tired, and I have to get up early” vs “Hmm weird I’m tired.”
9. Tell all your friends to call you during the date. She’s going to think you are wanted by other women. “Wow he could be out having sex with all these girls but he’s here with me.” If you don’t have any friends, use your cell phone’s alarm feature. Remember, a girl is more likely to have sex with you because you are wanted by other women than because she thinks you are a decent guy.
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